Rings of Saturn. Issue #1

Hey all

Delighted to announce that I will now be providing reviews and articles for Gaming Respawn

My first article for the site is below

http://gamingrespawn.com/rings-saturn-issue-1-sega-rally-vs-daytona-usa-car-wars/

Thanks for all your support. I will continue to add posts to the blog as well, and will of course be posting links to GR articles ;)

Mikey

Dominik Diamonds Are Forever: SEGA Worldwide Soccer 97' Review

A brief tangent before the actual game review if I may;

I came pretty late to the PlayStation party. It wasn’t until October 1998 that I finally got my grubby mitts on one and the system only had about 18 months of relevance left at that point. The funny thing was that originally I hadn’t even wanted a PlayStation. The gaming machine that I hand picked to succeed my Super Nintendo was a very different one indeed.

Yes, in the cool winter months of 1997, I had decided that I wanted a SEGA Saturn!

The reason for this was twofold. Firstly, I’d recently played one that summer. One of my mothers friends lived in Middlesbrough and her son had a Saturn with SEGA Rally. I spent most of an afternoon playing that game into the ground and left the house enchanted with the SEGA machine. In addition to this, Virtua Fighting had made it’s way to English Arcades and it’s combination of 3D graphics and (for the time) revolutionary fight physics had blown my tiny little mind. Yup, I wanted a SEGA Saturn, and to the top of my Christmas list it went.

Ah, Christmas 1997, what a depressing one that was. I stupidly had placed all my eggs in the Saturn basket, and low and behold I didn’t get one, thus meaning the gifts I did get were a crushing disappointment. Looking back on it now with adult eyes, it wasn’t the disaster that 10 year old me thought it to be, but I was just an idiot child at the time and reacted as such.

Ultimately, my parents didn’t like the idea of spending a sizeable sum on another gaming machine for me, when they were already of the opinion that I played my SNES too much. They had even gone so far as to deliberately lock my SNES away in the attic one summer as they didn’t want me playing it throughout the summer holidays. In fairness to them, they had made their stance on the matter of gaming quite clear and I should have seen it coming.

The matter was worsened for me on account that the children of the child minder me and my sister went to had wanted a PlayStation for Christmas and had actually got one. Thusly, I was hit with a double whammy of not getting what I wanted but also having to deal with another set of kids of who had on a daily basis. I didn’t react well. In fact, I’d say I reacted appallingly.

As a general rule, I didn’t tend to nag my parents for things as a child. I broke that rule in 1998. I now wanted a PlayStation, mainly because no one else I knew had a Saturn and thus I felt it would be better to go for the system that everyone else had (Because then I could borrow games from them)

So I nagged, and nagged, and nagged and nagged. It was a little toe rag basically. As luck would have it, SONY reduced the price of the PlayStation in late 98, meaning it was now more affordable and my parents eventually relented and bought me one.

And thusly, I forgot all about the SEGA Saturn. It became a victim of childhood hubris. However, it lingered at the back of my mind for the remainder of my childhood and into adulthood. Recently, I saw one online and thought about purchasing it, but eventually chose not to.

However, the thought of buying a Saturn still lingered. Not soon after deciding I wasn’t going to get one, I passed by a shop in Stockport called “Retro, Reload”. It’s a store that sells retro games and consoles, and would you know it, they had a SEGA Saturn for sale with three games for £37.50.

Reasoning that I’d probably never see an offer as good as that, I went away to mull over whether I should get one. I went to YouTube to look at videos relating to the Saturn. I’d recommend to anyone reading this to visit Adam Koralik’s YouTube page. He gives very detailed reviews of retro consoles and I found his Saturn one very helpful.

Eventually, I decided to bite the bullet and picked up the Saturn. I’ve been picking up cheap games on Amazon and eBay since. One such purchase was SEGA Worldwide Soccer 97’

SWS-97 (Shortening stuff is Keewl!) is a difficult game to review. It certainly isn’t a bad game by any means but it isn’t an especially good one either. I can say with absolute certainty that it’s the best Soccer game I’ve played so far on the Saturn, but that isn’t really saying much.

The other Soccer games I’ve already played on the console are FIFA 96’, Euro 96’ and FIFA 97’. All of them are bad and Euro 96’ is by far the worst in that it has terrible graphics, wretched game play, no customizable camera angles and no options to change the difficulty of the A.I.

SWS-97 does at least have a number of camera angles which all come with 3 different levels of zoom. There are also varied levels of difficulty on offer, so you can gradually get used to the game over time and find your own learning curve.

The graphics aren’t amazing but are decent enough for a game that was originally released in the autumn of 1996. The players give off the illusion of being 3D models but on closer inspection look to be 2D models that have been designed to look as if they are in three dimensions. The game overall looks a bit rough around the edges to a modern set of eyes, but I like the visuals on the whole.

The sound effects from the crowd are standard, but sound decent on the main. Gary Bloom provides match commentary and I must say that for a game made in 1996, the quality is very good indeed. Commentary on early football games was generally quite poor, but Bloom’s commentary sounds very smooth and I think it really adds to the match experience. The only time it sounds a bit choppy is when he reads out the team names prior to kick-off, but aside from that it’s good stuff.

SWS-97 is unlicensed, so the players have fake names and its international teams only. This was standard fare for most football games around this time period. I think FIFA had only just started using real teams and player names. The usual heavy hitters of the period such as Brazil, Argentina and Germany are present, while minnows such as Liberia also make it. There’s also an edit mode if you feel like renaming the players.

There are plenty of game modes on offer as well. There is exhibition mode, league mode, straight knock out cup and also The Worldwide Cup, which sees you go through numerous qualifying rounds in order to reach the competition finals. There is also an option for up to 4 players to take part in multiplayer mode with the player adapter.

The game play has both strengths and weaknesses. The players move smoothly enough and the three button set-up of the Saturn controller works well with one button for shoot, one for short pass and one for long pass. Passing does take some getting used to, as the ball will just stop moving after it’s gone a certain distance. This is something you’ll have to take into account when controlling the receiving player. On more than one occasion I played a pass to a player on the wing but the player would actually out run the pass and the ball would just sit there on the pitch for a few seconds before I either had the player run back to collect it or a computer controlled player snatched it for itself.

Crosses into the box are usually quite accurate but you have no real control how far they go and to which player they target. It’s also very hard to direct a resulting header or volley that comes from a long pass. Normally you just have to press the shoot button and hope it goes in.

Shooting itself is problematic in that you can’t really aim your shot in any fashion. It doesn’t matter where you press the d-pad or where your player is facing, most shots seem to always be aimed right at the opposing sides goalkeeper. This is by far my biggest complaint with the game as it makes scoring very difficult. You have to either hope the keeper will rebound the ball back to you for a follow up shot or get as close to the goal as possible without the keeper tackling you and essentially run around him before shooting.

Things got so silly in one play through that I was shooting from a diagonal angle hoping that the ball would bounce off the keeper and into the net. The most annoying thing is that while you can’t direct your shots, you can direct your passes, so at one point I was getting as close to the goal as I could and then passing the ball into the net, as this allowed me to have some decision in where the ball was actually going.

And this is ultimately why the game doesn’t get a higher score than I ended up going with. Again, this game is not actively bad. In fact, the game has a lot of positives going for it and it can be enjoyable game to play. However, certain aspects of the game play are counter intuitive and can make the experience itself frustrating.

As a result, I’ve gone with a final score of 6 out of 10

Below I’ve attached a YouTube video of some game play and also Adam Koralik’s excellent video on the SEGA Saturn

Thanks for reading

Peace Out

Game Footage 

Adam Koralik's SEGA Saturn Review

A Trip Away - Epilogue

It’s been almost a year since Pete, Luc, Adam and your trusted narrator visited the genial hills of The Scottish Highlands. Some things have changed and some things have remained the same.

Pete has recently purchased a small castle in Surrey and is looking at renovating it into an Evil Lair/High end bistro. He has just returned from Malta, where he had wrestled a shark in a corral reef. He’s currently very happy.

Luc has gone back to Cape Verde to work with hyper-intelligent squirrels on a cure for the common cold. He currently hasn’t found one.

As for Adam, he now roams the world motivated by a solitary desire for revenge. He was last spotted in Mexico taking part in a bare knuckle boxing competition with a Hispanic Kangaroo. The result of that fight is not yet known.

As for me? I split my time between being a hair donor for Wayne Rooney and playing Buckaroo professionally. I’m currently undefeated in 27 matches and am due to be the first man to play BUCKER7217, the world’s first super intelligent computer designed for Buckaroo playing purposes. We shall face each other at The Philadelphia Spectrum in the New Year; get your tickets now while you can!

Of course, I may be fibbing slightly in regards to certain parts of the story there. In fact I’m telling some outright whoppers, so I’ll come clean. It’s actually going to be at the Boston Gardens and not the Spectrum!

Ha, Ha, Ha, BOOM BOOM!

In all seriousness though, things haven’t been too bad since we returned from our trip away. For a start, Adam has gone and got engaged! He gets married next year and he’s asked me to the best man, which I am both very honoured and terrified by.

I can’t keep shaking the worry that making me the best man for a wedding could very much end up like the episode of Father Ted where Dougal is allowed to do a funeral. That being said, I couldn’t be more thrilled for the opportunity and will do my utmost to ensure that Adam is chained to a boat to France in his undies on the magical day (That is what a best man is supposed to do right?)

Pete is still living with his girlfriend Beth in London and Luc is still with Leanne in Reddish. Luc, Leanne and Adam are currently part of Happy Monday’s tribute band “The Happy Mondaze” and are currently acquiring critical acclaim for their performances. I would recommend checking them out.

I do wish to thank Pete for his constant badgering of me to continue with the writing of the trip to Scotland. During winter and most of spring, I was seconded in Leek as opposed to working from Stockport, and that made the writing of this diary more arduous than it had been in the past. It was always at the back of my mind and it was just a case of finding the time to finish it, which I have now thankfully done.

Since the beginning of writing this blog, some much deserved success has also found its way to Inverness Caledonian Thistle as they won the 2015 Scottish Cup in May! I have written about it elsewhere on my blog, but it was a nail biting Final with Falkirk and Inverness managed to bring the cup home.

I’d like to think that my pilgrimage to their ground was the good luck charm they needed to win the trophy, but I can’t really claim that with any sincerity. The fact is that Caley have been playing well for the past few years now and had come within an eyelash of winning the Scottish League Cup in 2014. Their trophy win was much deserved and also against the odds when you consider they had to contend with Celtic in the Semi Finals. I’m delighted for them and hopefully they can now have a successful European campaign in the 2015/2016 Season.

But, have we any plans to venture away again some day? At the time of writing this, I can honestly say that we have discussed the matter but nothing concrete has been decided. Ultimately, it’s hard to juggle everyone’s schedules so that we can find the time to travel. I can say with 100% certainty though that I’d definitely be up for another jaunt.

Quite a few destinations have been discussed, including Anglesey and Normandy. One thing is for sure; if we do decide to go away again I’ll be taking a notebook and having a bash at writing a blog about it.

The only thing to decide is what to call it?

“A Trip Away Part II”?

“A Trip Away, The Return of Jaffar”?

“A Trip Away: Revolutions”?

“A Trip Away, The Lost World”?

“A Trip Away, Judgment Day”?

Or

“A Trip Away Episode II: Attack of the Clones”?

Why don’t you share your best sequel title in the comments below? Or alternatively, you can send suggestions on a stamp addressed envelope to an address which I won’t give you (Not letting you nutters know where I live. I may be an idiot, but I’m no fool)

Regardless of whether we go again or not, I really enjoyed writing about it and I hope you’ve all enjoyed reading it. I want to thank Pete, Luc and Adam for their company and I want to thank the fine people of Inverness Caledonian Thistle FC for not only opening up the club shop especially for me, but also for re-tweeting the picture of me outside the ground. They’re a great bunch there and I wish the club continued success.

I also want to thank the people in the Tourist Information Centre in Inverness for their help, Stan Fraser for his ship building prowess, the lovely staff in the restaurant by the river and many, many others who made the trip such a pleasant one.

And most of all, thank you for reading, you sexy bastards you!

A Trip Away - Chapter 14

The weather had been holding for most of our final day, but as we made our way to the mountain roads the heavens decided to open. The rain began to fall and aggressively block our path. Despite this, I decided to keep my speed steadily at 40mph, sadly other people on the road decided not to, which meant a few nervy moments for Pete.

When you’re driving, you tend to see the road differently than the person in the passenger seat. I felt quite comfortably like I had the situation under control, but Pete disagreed and actively implored me to slow down, which I dutifully did. Thankfully, the rain did eventually subside and people started driving to the speed limit once more.

It was around this period that we started to think about stopping for food and also a rest break. Once we were clearly out of the mountains, we decided to stop by in a pub in Perth. The pub itself was, I think, quite near to St Johnstone’s McDiarmid Park stadium. I say this because there were signs for a football ground and St Johnstone are one of the big local sides in Perth. Had we had more time, I would have investigated the matter, but I was sharing the car with three hungry non-football fans, and came to the conclusion that they likely wouldn’t be as interested to follow this up as I would.

I’m afraid I can’t remember the actual name of the pub. It was off a roundabout on the outskirts of town. The pub itself was very nice and was one of those pubs where every table had its own television. We pulled up a chair and ordered some food. Seeing as it was going to be my last meal in Scotland, I decided to order Haggis with Neeps and Tatties. The dish itself came with some biscuits and a very tasty whiskey sauce. I was very satisfied with the meal and it wasn’t as heavy as you’d think.

With our bellies full and our bladders emptied, we hit the road once more. Pete loaded up The Ricky Gervais Show on one of our I-Pods and we began the arduous journey along the motorway back to England. The traffic itself was moving along well enough, but we were still looking at something like 4-5 hours between here and home.

Eventually, the car needed to be refuelled and I also needed to refuel with an energy drink. We stopped at a services and I ventured in. Pete offered to take over the driving duties, but I turned him down, the journey now becoming some perverse challenge to me. This, lads and ladies, was the action of a fool. It’s never smart to drive when you’re tired. Granted, I was hardly close to falling asleep at the wheel, but I was also in dire need of energy to keep my head in the game.

It was at this time that I decided to also eat my Scotch Pie. Despite it now being cold, I enjoyed it quite a lot. The meat was lightly spiced and the pastry had a pleasing texture. Pete took an investigatory bite into his pie and his face was a rich tapestry of emotion. There was a mixture of disgust, confusion, remorse and surprise. I don’t think he even swallowed the piece of offending pie that he placed in his mouth. Pete offered the remaining pie to me, but I was full after mine, so he placed it in the side glove box. I found the remains of the pie a couple of days later. I didn’t eat it.

But yes dear reader, it was foolish of me to continue on driving despite my fatigue. It is not something I would condone for others to try. Ultimately, I felt compelled to keep going and that was the reason I continued to drive rather than delegating the duties elsewhere. As it was, the energy drink perked me up and I managed the remainder of the journey home with little bother.

I can’t remember the exact order in which everyone was dropped off, other than recalling that Adam was the last one. We pulled up outside his house and he gathered his luggage together. It was a sad moment in a lot of ways, the trip was now officially over and we’d have to return to the hustle and bustle of regular life. Adam collected the remainder of his possessions and entered his house.

I sat silently in the car for a few moments before sighing and starting up the engine once more. The streets of Stockport were now deserted, being that it was late at night. We had done much during our short time away, and there was still more that we could have done that we just hadn’t got around to. I felt both fulfilled and also keenly aware that there was still more to offer in Inverness.

In my opinion, the best holiday is one that makes you feel like you made the most of your destination but also makes you think that there were still areas which were left unexplored. Inverness certainly left that impression on me.

But the trip away had been more than just a jolly jaunt to The Highlands. It had been an opportunity to get the four of us together again, if only for a week. Will we ever take such a trip together again? I cannot say. All I can say is that if such a situation to go away again were to present itself, my response would be a hearty “yes”.

Thanks for reading

Peace Out

A Trip Away - Chapter 13

The last day of a holiday is always a strange one. You don’t really know how to feel or where to focus. In reality, the last day of a holiday isn’t really a holiday in the way we’d recognise it. You may get up to things on that last day, but the inescapable reality of the journey home always lingers in the distance. Anything you plan, has to be factored into your time budget and whatever you choose to do, there’ll always be a small voice in the back of your head reminding you that “you’ve got to leave at some point”

Due to the fact we were driving home, we had a little bit more leeway than most do on a last day of a holiday. With no designated boat or plane to catch, we had a bit more control over what we did and for how long, as regardless of what time it was we would always have the means of transportation home within our own control.

We used up as much of the remaining food as was reasonable and packed the rest of it up for the journey back. We heated the meat pies in the oven before wrapping them in tin foil so they could be consumed during the journey home. I think Adam may have eaten his, but I was still full from breakfast and decided I’d eat mine later. Pete seemed to be less enthused about the prospect of a pie after they were cooked. Maybe the reality of what he was about to subject his insides to had given him cold feet?

Seeing as it was the last day, and considering the lack of hot water in the cottage, I decided to flaunt the “no streaming” rule and loaded up some music on YouTube while I packed my case. I jigged to music from Donkey King Country on the SNES while trying to re-pack all that I’d brought and also squeeze in the extra stuff I’d acquired during the trip.

As a rule, I’m a terrible packer. But then again I’m terrible at a lot of things, such as knitting, welding and association football. I am however very good at WWF Smackdown 4 ”Shut Your Mouth”, so peaks and troughs I guess.

After squeezing everything into the case, and getting into a good rhythm while listening to the level theme entitled “Fear Factory” (Whether the video game level or the angry sounding metal band came first, I couldn’t really say). Adam soon came in to finish off his packing and I moved downstairs to try and help with a bit of last minute cottage tidying.

I double checked and triple checked that I had everything I needed, and when I was quite confident that I had, I quadruple checked. You never can be too sure when it comes to these things. You can’t exactly catch a quick bus back into town if a few days later you realised you left something important behind. I did later realise that I had left a jumper behind. It wasn’t a jumper I was especially attached to, but I did feel bad about leaving it, mainly because it was the jumper I’d worn on the boat ride. 

After wearing both a life preserver and a waterproof coat over it, in what ended up being blazing sunshine, the jumper has been saturated in perspiration. I’d stuck it in a spare plastic bag by my case, with plans to tie the bag tightly up and stick it right at the bottom of my case in a vain attempt to avert everyone else’s nose from the no doubt pungent odour when we drove home. However, seeing as I was sharing a room with Adam and we had two days left at that stage, I decided I’d stick the bag in a nearby cupboard instead. Neither of us were using said cupboard and it seemed to do a good enough job of hiding the stench. So much so, that we forgot it was in there. You can see where this is going.

I feel terribly for whomever the unfortunate cleaner was who found that jumper in the cupboard. The cottage owner may possibly have thought it was an act of defiance brought about by the lack of hot water in the cottage, but alas it was merely me being a Forgetful Franklin.  I only realised the following day when I checked my suitcase for the offending jumper, only to find it wasn’t there.

I would like to take this opportunity to apologise sincerely to the poor cleaner who had to do away with that rotten piece of apparel. I assure you, it was completely accidental that I left it there and I apologise profusely.

After we’d negotiated loading up the car, and that was no small feat, we took a moment to say farewell to our beloved cottage. It was sad to know we’d be leaving it for the last time. I had quick last look out the back at the Loch, where much enjoyment had been had, and took the atmosphere in one last time. I was going to miss the peace and quiet once I was back home and amongst the hustle and bustle of City life again.

We started off on our journey, but instead of heading straight on to the direct route home, we took a detour that allowed us to pay a visit to the where Adam and I had been the previous day. Yes, we were taking Luc and Pete to Loch Ness!

We drove alongside the Loch and looked for somewhere we could pull over and have a closer inspection of the water. We darted down some winding side roads until we found somewhere to pull over and have a look. We were the only people there and the morning sun trickled down onto the surface of the water. Again, the silence was deafening. The hills stood in the distance, their tips obstructed by Scotch mist.

The Loch water was clear but nothing seemed to be stirring underneath it. I’d been led to believe that, aside from eels, nothing else more substantial could make itself a home in the water, due to the depth of the Loch itself. This seemed to shoot the theory of the Loch Ness Monster down in one blow. I mean, how could a giant monster live in the Loch when there was no food to sustain it? I doubt Domino’s would deliver to the side of a Loch, even for a big order of 20 Large Pizzas with extra anchovies.

We took some pictures and I dipped a finger in the Loch. I can’t really state that Loch Ness felt any different than any other Loch I’ve had the privilege of touching, but it at least I can say I did it (For whatever that’s worth)

After taking the pictures and making the most of the time we had at our disposal, it was decided it was time to move onward. The GPS gave us a route that took us through some more winding roads off the beaten track, which though slightly more troublesome to traverse, did provide us with some more luscious scenery. The sun was gently beating down on the hillside as we made our journey back to civilisation.

When we finally made our way back onto the main road, it was with designs of starting the journey back proper. However, no sooner had we began making our way up to the mountainous roads that separated The Highlands from the rest of Scotland, we passed an intriguing sign.

Most of you reading this will no doubt already be aware that Scotland is a place renowned for its whiskey. Distilleries are dotted all over the country. In fact, the original motivation for the trip north of the border was for us to sample numerous distilleries, as Iain Banks had done in his fine book “Raw Spirit”. However, the holiday had panned out much differently than we had planned, and thus no distilleries had been visited.

In this moment though, our very last day, we noticed a sign for the Tomatin Distillery. We decided that it was unlikely we’d get a chance to visit another Scottish distillery anytime soon and thusly pulled in to take a closer look. We passed a collection of houses on our way to the car park, which were actually houses that were still used by distillery employees. I couldn’t imagine living so close to work. I’d imagine taking a sick day would open you up to tighter scrutiny than usual for a start. We saw some of the employees milling outside and they seemed happy enough.

When we pulled into the car park, a tour of the facility was just ending. We knew we didn’t have enough time to take part in a tour ourselves, so instead made for the gift shop. While in there, one of the employees said that if we didn’t have time to tour, we could still watch a short film about the history of the distillery and then taste some whiskey afterward. We decided this would be a good use of the time we had.

The video itself was very interesting and I’d certainly be interested in doing a full tour should I ever visit Inverness again. Tomatin is actually one of Scotland’s highest distilleries, clocking in at an eye watering 315m above sea level. The water used to make the whiskey runs over a soft peat, granite and heather, which gives the whiskey a distinct mellow taste.

I’ll be honest and say that Tomatin wasn’t a brand I was especially aware of prior to the journey to Scotland, but I certainly liked what I saw and tasted. Seeing as I was driving, I could only have one of the three generous samples offered to us by the distillery employee. Normally, I don’t tend to drink whiskey straight, but thankfully the promised mellowness of the whiskey was there and I finished off my lone sample with ease.

Adam, who may drink less whiskey even than me, struggled with the samples but still manfully choked them down so as not to cause offence. Pete and Luc seemed much more into the process. I bought some small bottles from the distillery and I am still yet to drink them. I’m saving them for an occasion that has yet to happen.

Overall, I’d recommend a visit to Tomatin if you happen to be in the area. The staff were friendly and the prices were reasonable. The whiskey itself comes in different types and multiple years. The 10 year is a smooth dram and well worth your time.

With our whiskey detour now completed, it was time to take to the road once more and finally end our journey. More to come!

This and That: WCW Road Wild 1999 Review

I want to ride my bicycle; I want to ride my bike


Some of the stuff I subject myself to on the WWE Network. Ever since I got the Network, I’ve been gradually working my way through the Pay Per View libraries filling in the blanks in my “watched shows” archives.

This has been filled mostly with watching old WCW shows. Living in the UK as I do, it has never been particularly difficult to pick up WWF/E and ECW PPV’s on DVD or VHS. This is because both companies have enjoyed extensive releases since the 2000’s (WWE’s through Free Mantle and Silvervision UK, whereas Laser Light Digital released every ECW PPV in the UK as well as some of the more notorious arena shows and some Hardcore TV Compilations)

WCW on the other hand, never had as widespread a release of their shows. During the big wrestling boom of the late 90’s-early 00’s, WCW merely released the following shows

Uncensored 99
Spring Stampede 99
Bash at the Beach 99
Starrcade 99
And then every Pay Per View of 2000 up until Great American Bash of that year

So as you can see, WCW’s penetration into the UK during probably one of the most lucrative periods of wrestling history was less than impressive, with even ECW’s tape library eclipsing their output. There are some limited PAL versions of the other WCW shows during that time, and I’ve managed to acquire a few, but they are disgustingly rare and always heavily overpriced.

Thusly, tape trading and bootlegs were really the only way to build any sizeable WCW collection if you lived in Merry Old Blighty. What’s amazing about this is that, outside of the USA and Germany, the UK was by far WCW’s biggest market, and yet they made no real attempt to monetize that fan support with consistent video releases. I’d even go as far to say that WCW was bigger in the UK than it was even in Canada (a noted WWE Stronghold) but even with this being the case, they never bothered to pull their fingers out.

It’s reasons like that why WWE Network is a chuffing God-send, as I can finally watch all the shows I missed during WCW’s final days, as well as a lot of the prime stuff from the 80’s and 90’s that never saw widespread release over here.

But then I watch a show like Road Wild 99 and think that maybe the fact WCW didn’t release it in the UK was to actually do us all a favour. That may be somewhat harsh on a show that is at least an inoffensive waste of a couple of hours as opposed to a genuinely offensive bowl of festering rancid wrestling porridge.

The show suffers in the sense that it feels less like a major Pay Per View Event and more like a house show that they decided to film. Quite a lot of the wrestlers appear to be on cruise control and very rarely get out of second gear.

It strikes me very much as a show that if you’d been in the audience live to witness it, you probably would have had a good time. This is also likely to do with the fact that admittance to all the Road Wild shows was free. Basically, WCW put a ring in a field in Sturgis, South Dakota and bikers pulled up to sit in the sun, rev their engines and watch some wrestling.

Again, this works great as an idea for a house show or maybe as an annual Nitro TV Event, but for a full priced Pay Per View it really doesn’t work. When you hand over your PPV money, you expect to get a PPV calibre show in return. When WWE holds Wrestlemania in outside venues, it still demands the wrestlers perform to their fullest. WCW seemed happy to just let some of the boys go out and do the bare minimum to please the live crowd, with no real thought to the paying audience at home.

The live crowd itself, a source of controversy during previous Road Wild events, is actually a very receptive one for this show. In the past, the bikers had been known to boo the babyfaces and get impatient when any actual wrestling took place. A good example would be the Chris Benoit Vs Dean Malenko match from the 96 event. Both men had an excellently worked and fluid technical wrestling bout which the bikers booed and heckled.

Thankfully, that doesn’t really happen on this show. Pretty much all of the babyfaces get cheered, including ethnic stars Rey Mysterio and Harlem Heat (Not always a guarantee at past shows with a predominantly white, right-wing crowd of bikers in attendance) and the crowd dig the work rate based Benoit Vs DDP match.

Watching it now after nearly 16 years have passed, the show is enjoyable enough for what it is. Very few of the matches are anything you could consider particularly good, but the live crowd is in to most of the show and it makes the event itself an easy enough watch. Had I paid full whack for it back in 1999 though, I would not have been pleased.

Again, I think the Sturgis setting could have worked for a Nitro, in the same way the Spring Break format used to work, but as a Pay Per View set-up it just didn’t work at all. PPV Events should have been the most lucrative shows a wrestling company ran in those days. They were the shows where a company showcased their big matches and drew their biggest crowds.

However, with a zero gate and a roster very much on house show mode, the Road Wild shows never lived up to the traditional PPV calibre that wrestling fans expected in the 90’s. For this reason, the show is hard to recommend.

If you have the Network and a couple of hours to kill, this show should be able to entertain you somewhat. However, I wouldn’t recommend actually buying a physical copy of it or anything. As part of your 9.99 a month though, there are worse uses of your time



Match recaps and scoring

Rey Mysterio Jnr, Kidman and Eddie Guerrero defeated Vampiro and The Insane Clown Posse(Accompanied by Raven) in 12:22 when Kidman pinned Shaggy 2 Dope following a Shooting Star Press

Rating: **1/2

Thoughts: enjoyable enough opener. Everyone in the match was taking it seriously, but the ICP are really nothing more than keen amateurs and it showed here. Thankfully, they were put in there with three very good wrestlers and the result was a decent match.




Harlem Heat defeated Bam Bam Bigelow and Chris Kanyon in 13:06 to win the WCW Tag Team Titles when Booker T hit Bigelow with a Missile Dropkick

Rating: *

Thoughts: Kanyon is a good heel and he wound the bikers up enough that they were happy to cheer for The Heat. This was standard formula tag match and the fans were into it. Sadly, the work was very sloppy from both Bigelow and Stevie Ray. Kanyon hit some nice moves and did his best to draw heat for being a despicable heel, but the match never really got out of first gear. They didn’t lose the crowd at least




Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko and Shane Douglas defeated Curt Henning, Bobby Duncam Jnr and Barry Windham (Accompanied by Kendal Windham) in 11:00 when Saturn pinned Duncum Jnr with the Death Valley Driver

Rating: *1/2

Thoughts: Both Douglas and Hennig’s groups had potential to get somewhere in WCW and both groups were squandered not too soon after this. Douglas, Malenko, Saturn and Benoit were known as “The Revolution” and their gimmick was essentially that they were mid carders who were sick of being held down by the establishment and they were going to force their way up the card.

There’d been something in the works for this since about 1997 I believe. At the time, talk was going on about having a new group set up of Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Malenko and William Regal and dubbing them “The Apocalypse”. They would essentially be a Four Horsemen splinter group created and led by Benoit, who would leave the Horsemen due to a falling out with Ric Flair. The fall out would have been related to Flair making Jeff Jarrett a Horsemen against Benoit’s wishes.

For whatever reason, this storyline never paid off. It was probably a combination of Guerrero getting injured and Jarrett completely flopping as a Horsemen. I’m guessing The Apocalypse were due to be heels, but considering that Jarrett was a sucky Horsemen, the worry may have been that the fans would have actually agreed with The Apocalypse and rooted for them, hence the angle being dropped.

You can actually see the seeds for this angle being laid at Spring Stampede 97 in the Benoit Vs Malenko match from that show.

Anyway, considering WCW had just brought in Douglas, they decided to add him to the already existing trio of Saturn, Malenko and Benoit as a mouthpiece, and thus The Revolution was born. I remember digging the group back in my younger days and WCW worked very hard to quickly beat any enthusiasm out of me by booking them as a bunch of buffoons who couldn’t even beat Jimmy Hart’s First Family, a group which consisted such high calibre stars as Hugh Morrus, Brian Knobbs and Jerry Flynn.

Hennig’s faux Country Band known as “The West Texas Rednecks” had been formed earlier in the summer to act as foils for Konnan and Rey Mysterio, who were doing a rapping gimmick at the time. The Rednecks were supposed to be heels and wrote a song called “Rap is Crap” extolling the virtues of country music over rap music.

The problem was that WCW was based primarily in the south and their main audience was mostly lower income white trash. Seriously, watch a WCW show sometime; it’s a pretty rough crowd (Not that there’s anything wrong with that of course). Thusly, when it came to a feud between Rap and Country, most of the fans chose The Rednecks.

Rather than doing something sensible, like say moving The Rednecks away from the rap guys and turning them face on another heel group, WCW persevered and kept them heel before eventually splitting them up all together.

Anyway, that’s a sizeable tangent for what was a very forgettable match. Not actively bad, just dull.



Buff Bagwell defeated The Cat (Accompanied by Sonny Onoo) in 7:20 with a roll up following botched interference from Sonny Onoo

Rating: *

Thoughts: House show special this one. Tonnes of stalling, little actual wrestling and a sloppy roll up finish. Buff could not have looked less enthused to be there. If “The Death of WCW” book is to be believed, Cat and Buff got into a real fight over this match either before or after the show. It could be that someone took liberties in the match leading to a skirmish or it could be that the guys had a fight prior to the match itself and the resulting match was after a booking compromise was reached. Either way, that’s probably the only actual interesting or intriguing thing about this one. The crowd at least reacted to the finish and popped for Buff’s win, so every cloud etc.




Chris Benoit defeated Diamond Dallas Page in 12:08 with a Diving Headbutt to retain the WCW United States Championship

Rating: ***1/4

Thoughts: Finally, two wrestlers treated the show like it was an actual Pay Per View or something and put forth a good effort. Crowd was thankfully behind Benoit and Page did a good job riling them up over the course of the match. The only complaint I’d have would be that Benoit sold perhaps a bit too much at times, but then again he was going over clean, so I suppose it wasn’t too bad that Page took most of the match.

The finishing sequence itself was quite interesting, as Page’s stablemates Kanyon and Bigelow came down for interference. The Revolution were shown backstage watching the match on a monitor, with Douglas clearly telling the other two that Benoit didn’t need their help. This indeed proved to be true, as Benoit managed to overcome all three men singlehandedly to pick up the win.

It was nice to see Benoit being treated as a legitimate threat to three guys all bigger than him. He came out of this match looking like a genuine star, so credit to Page for putting him over. Sadly, WCW would flush away any momentum Benoit gained here by having him get jobbed out at the next PPV to Sid Vicious, but at least on this show he was allowed to get a convincing and satisfying clean win.




Sid Vicious defeated Sting in 10:40 with a Choke Slam

Rating: *

Thoughts: And back to the house show efforts we go, as Sting and Sid pretty much phoned this one in. Fans were at least in to Sting, but the match pretty much died once Sid took over and put Sting in his dazzling array of rest holds. Lowlight of the match was Sid taking a Superplex, only to get right back up and set himself up in the corner for the Stinger Splash. It wasn’t like he sold the move and organically fed up to the turnbuckle either. He literally took the move, got up and just walked into the corner. Sting then hit two Stinger Splashes but Sid caught him with the Choke Slam on the third one and got the anticlimactic three count. It’s like they said “Sod it, that’ll do, let’s take it home and leave early to beat the Saturday traffic”




Goldberg defeated Rick Steiner in 5:35 with The Jackhammer

Rating: ½*

Thoughts: Goldberg sold for about 5 minutes before hitting the Spear and Jackhammer to win. You could tell that Goldberg and Steiner were mates in real life, because Goldberg normally didn’t sell for people this much, especially for a guy who was quite low down the pecking order in Steiner. Steiner actually took Goldberg’s knee brace off and started hitting him with it at will. The ref didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with this. Basically a waste of Goldberg to be honest.




Randy Savage defeated Dennis Rodman in 11:28 of a No DQ match when he punched him with a chain around his fist

Rating: ½*

Thoughts: This was mainly the reason I watched this show in all honesty. It’s got quite an infamous reputation and I remember WCW Worldwide (the only access I had to WCW in the 90’s and 00’s due to not having Satellite or Cable TV) hyping it quite heavily at the time and being a bit bummed that I never got to watch it.

Rodman, a noted crazy weirdo, was seemingly a natural fit to feud with Savage, a mad aging psycho, and the feud began as a result of Rodman trying it on with Savage’s then ball and chain, Gorgeous George. She makes an appearance right at the end to give Rodman a terrible looking low blow and pass Savage the match winning chain.

My abiding memory of Gorgeous George is WCW doing an angle where it was suggested Savage was hitting her, even going so far as to put black makeup over her eye to suggest he’d given her a shiner. Thusly she chose to valet Kevin Nash in the resulting blow off match, only to swerve everyone and give him a low blow.

The problem was that the low blow looked so bad and made so little contact that Nash didn’t clock that she had done it and thusly didn’t sell it. This meant she had to perform the spot again! This one looked like it at least had some semblance of contact. Enough for them to take the match home anyway. I think that was Bash at the Beach 99

So yeah, Rodman was rude to Macho Man’s woman, Macho got annoyed and it was #InstaFeud!

The match itself is an absolute mess, with no less than about 5 ref bumps and meandering brawls throughout the makeshift “arena”. The spot that gives the match its notoriety is that while the two brawl behind the staging area, Savage chucks Rodman into a porta potty and then knocks the thing over. When he goes to get Rodman out, excrement and whizz pours its way out of the potty, in a good metaphor for the company as a whole at that point.

So yeah, the match is crap, quite literally in fact. I couldn’t really even enjoy it as silly celebrity match, because it wasn’t even any good at doing that. Absolute dreck




Hulk Hogan defeated Kevin Nash in 12:18 with The Big Leg Drop to retain the WCW Title and force Nash into “retirement” as part of a pre-match stipulation

Rating: **

Thoughts: Your typical Hogan formula match really.

Hogan shines and poses

Big heel cuts him off with something

Hogan sells

Heel hit’s his finish, which Hogan decides to no sell

Hulk Up!

Three punches

Big Boot

Leg Drop

Three count

Posing

Show end

Whether you’ll enjoy this match or not is based solely on whether you enjoy that formula. I happen to like a basic Hogan formula match, so I didn’t really have any problems with it. It wasn’t really a particularly good Hogan match and it was weird seeing “Cool” Kevin Nash do all the cheesy 80’s heel selling, but it worked for what it was.

It didn’t really feel like a match that required a big “Loser Leaves Town” stipulation to be honest, and it wasn’t worked like those kinds of matches are. There was no real tension. You never got the feel either man was fighting to retain his career. It was just a basic match. Neither guy did anything particularly bad, the crowd reacted where and when they were supposed to and the show ended with Hogan top of the pile again.

Hogan had only just gone back to Red and Yellow a week prior to this match, but that gimmick looked really out of place in 1999. Of course, Hogan would successfully bring it back in the WWE in the 00’s but the world was a different time at that point. Nostalgia was beginning to be embraced rather than sneered at, and Hogan made good use of that. People actually liked seeing the Red and Yellow again, as it gave them a warm call back to their youth.

1999 though was the time of anti-authority and anti-social babyfaces causing mayhem and being vulgar. Hulk Hogan’s posing and 24 Inch Pythons wasn’t really going to cut it at that point and his title reign ended up being a flop.

Thanks for reading

Peace Out

This and That: Last Weekend's Football

So, that was a pretty eventful footballing weekend wasn’t it?


We just need to get The Champions League Final out of the way on Saturday and then we can all detox for the summer.

The three matches that I took in over the weekend were, as follows

The Scottish Cup Final: Inverness Caledonian Thistle and Falkirk

The FA Cup Final: Arsenal Vs Aston Villa

The Scottish Premiership Play Off Final: Motherwell Vs Rangers

Whereas the first two games were great advertisements for the game in different ways, sadly the third game was spoiled by some horrid scenes at the end.


Firstly, Caley Vs Falkirk. The first half of the match was a cagey affair. Falkirk made a concerted effort to keep the ball on the deck and play the passing game they’re known for, whereas Caley played quite a few long balls and weren’t as interested on keeping the ball on the Hampden turf.

Caley took a 1-0 lead before half time, Marely Watkins making good use of an insidious through ball from Aaron Doran to round the keeper and put Thistle out in front. Watkins has previously missed two decent chances, so was understandably delighted to put the third chance away. Caley’s support, who had been somewhat subdued up to that point, erupted and it looked like the trophy was heading to The Highlands.

Falkirk, to their credit, didn’t panic in the face of adversity. Caley had finished 3rd in the Premier Division and were favourites coming in to the contest. The Bairns knuckled down in the second half and kept putting pressure on the Caley defence. Finally, with roughly 75 minutes gone, something came of it.

Carl Tremarco made a poor mistake and ended up bringing a Falkirk player clean through on goal to earn himself a sloppy red card. He left the field distraught, with thoughts of causing Caley’s possible defeat no doubt rushing through his head.

And not soon after, the worst thing to happen to The Scottish Highlands since the introduction of sheep farming too place as Peter Grant headed Falkirk level with a fine header following a smoothly worked set piece.

At this point, Falkirk were in the ascendency and it seemed unlikely they wouldn’t score another or at least force the lottery of penalty kicks. Enter former Kidderminster Harriers player James Vincent to save Caley’s bacon.

A tame Watkins shot could only be parried by Falkirk keeper Jamie Macdonald and the ball trickled to the welcoming feet of the second half substitute, who promptly stuck it home to give Inverness an improbably lead with a mere 4 minutes of regular time remaining.

Despite Falkirk’s best efforts, Inverness were able to hold on and secure a famous victory. The club that had only been formed 21 years previously had managed to win the historic cup after a thrilling 45 minutes of action.

The Final overall was a great watch and I couldn’t help but feel a little bit of sorrow for Falkirk, who’d entered an excellent performance in the second half and were very unfortunate to leave Hampden Park empty handed. All in all, it was a great advert for the Scottish Game.



The FA Cup Final was less of a contest and more of a thrilling dissection.

Arsenal walloped Aston Villa in every sense of the word. They beat Villa down all through the first half but just couldn’t find a way through Shay Given and Kieron Richardson until Theo Walcott finally breached their defences at roughly 40 minutes of the first half.

From that point on, it was open season as Arsenal proceeded to score thrice more in the second half to put the game to bed. Arsenals second was an absolute rocket from Alexi Sanchez and was probably one of the best goals I’ll ever see during my miserable and despairing time aboard this hunk of rock we all dwindle on.

Seriously, if you’ve not seen this goal yet, head to YouTube and have a butchers. Quite simply astonishing.

There’s not much more I can say really. I don’t like Arsenal but they deservedly won the cup. Jack Wilshire got himself in a bit of trouble by joining in with a rude song about Tottenham, but I don’t really see any problem with that. The fact that an Arsenal player doesn’t like Tottenham didn’t seem as shocking to me as it did to others.

I know some reactionary types and other spoil sports often lament about the “tribal” nature of football, but what is football without rivalries? Rivalries are what take any sport from just people playing games to something that actually has a resonance with other people and makes them want to watch. If we as supporters hate our rivals, why shouldn’t the players of the teams we support hate them to? It’s a sentiment that completely makes sense to me.

The only question I would ask is why any Arsenal player or supporter would feel the need for some unprovoked jabbing at Spurs after they’d just won their 12th FA Cup? Arsenal are more successful than Spurs, so why the need to have a pop at them when they haven’t invited it? Seems like some Arsenal fans are dealing with a bit of insecurity to their local rivals, Wilshire included.

Now, if some Spurs supporters were giving it “all that”, I can completely understand why an Arsenal supporter would give them a little back. But on a parade honouring your own club with nary a Spurs fan in sight? I think Spurs have a prominent place in most Arsenal supporters psyche, though they would be loath to admit it.

It’s not like my club are not guilty of this practice of course. When Everton were winning the 1984 FA Cup Final, the amassed Everton support began singing “Are you watching Liverpool?”. The context was a little different to the Wilshire situation though. This chant was to show that Everton were bouncing back after over a decade in the wilderness to reassert themselves in the English game. It was an act of defiance to show Liverpool that they better take Everton seriously. It wasn’t Everton kicking a rival while they were down when there was no need to do so. The difference in context is important, but I doubt most “Gooners” will be capable of comprehending why.



Any mock outrage at Jack Wilshire however, was eclipsed by genuine outrage after what happened at Fir Park on Sunday afternoon.

Following an, admittedly drab, 3-0 Motherwell victory Rangers defender Bilel Mohsni refused to shake the hand of his victorious opponent Lee Erwin. He also threw a few choice vulgar words in Erwin’s direction for good measure. Erwin decided this was out of order and shoved Mohsni in the back. Mohsni replied to this with a roundhouse kick and left hook. The ensuing fracas had to be separated by players from both teams.

It was an unpleasant, but somewhat apt conclusion to a tie that had been played under a dark cloud ever since both clubs decided to cut the others away ticket allocation. The fact that Stuart McCall was returning to his old club as manager of Rangers probably didn’t help the atmosphere.

Following the victory, Motherwell supporters took to the pitch and made a beeline for where the stand in which the Rangers support were seated to goad them. It took police on horseback to finally quell the crowd and get them back into their seats.

It was an incredibly ugly scene.

Though Mohsni was wrong to react the way he did, you certainly can’t claim that he wasn’t provoked. Erwin shoving him reminded me of an occurrence that happened when I was at primary school. We’d returned from half term to find a fully formed and rather large wasp’s nest greeting us at the bottom of the playing field.

One of my friends thought it would be funny to chuck a stick at it. This of course led to the wasps charging from their home to sting anyone in sight. Thankfully, I was far enough to sprint away unscathed, but my friend wasn’t so lucky. He got stung by a number of the angry wasps and was taken to the nurse’s office in tears. He was joined by some other children who hadn’t even been aware of the nest, but had merely got caught unawares by the provoked hoard of angered creatures.

Mohsni’s reputation was well known prior to this match. Erwin claims to be a Rangers supporter, he should know better than anybody what the Tunisian is capable of. He is generally one of the most ill-behaved players in the entire Scottish game. Hopefully, Rangers get rid of him in the coming summer and he moves on to a league elsewhere. The question is; who would want him?

I expect both players to get heavy fines and bans. Mohsni should receive the lion’s share of both sanctions, but Erwin is not blameless in this situation. Motherwell will also likely get fines for the behaviour of their supporters.

Questions will now arise as to whether Stuart McCall is capable of getting this Rangers squad promoted or if the board will keep him on. That though, is another blog for another day.

What a sour end to what was an excellent and at times life affirming weekend of football.

Peace Out