This and That by Mikey Fitzgerald - Adrian Durham: Flying The Flag

Adrian Durham: Flying The Flag


On his Talk Sport “Drive Time” Show on the 12th December 2013, Adrian Durham once again brought his lack of knowledge and general arrogance to the fore. Durham's latest cause is getting Scottish sides barred from the Champions League.


On the show, with guest host Matt Holland looking on in almost stunned silence; Durham declared that current Scottish Champions Celtic should not be allowed in the Champions League because their league wasn’t competitive enough. He questioned what benefit it was to Celtic to have the highlight of their season being Barcelona coming for a Champions League contest. Durham essentially pulled down his trousers and took a massive dump over Celtic and Scottish football in general. Durham embarrassed the radio station he works for, the listeners who tune in and, most of all, his own country.


Sometimes we English like to question why the rest of the world looks at us with a mixture of contempt and derision. It’s for reasons like these. If it were up to people like Durham, the Champions League would be only for English, German and Spanish teams (With maybe the odd Belgian or Portuguese team chucked in). Durham has, on more than one occasion, taken a pop at Bundesliga and has constantly been on Celtic’s case for years. Durham is the living embodiment of the angry “Little Englander” who thinks that the Premier League is the only thing that matters and thinks people like the Scots, and the other “minnows” of Europe, should know their place and leave the sporting competitions to the “Big” countries.


This isn’t the first time that Durham as rallied against a smaller nation. Northern Ireland plays their home international matches at Windsor Park. Windsor Park is not a big stadium but it has been Northern Ireland’s home for a long time and the venue creates an excellent atmosphere on match nights. Durham spoke out a few years ago that he thought it was terrible and an insult that some of the world’s best players had to play in such an awful stadium. He went as far as to demand that Northern Ireland play all their home games in Dublin. The fact that Dublin wasn’t actually IN Northern Ireland didn’t seem to bother Durham of course. Who cares about a little thing like a country actually playing in their own country eh? Totti and Maldini might have to “lower” themselves to playing in a hostile environment and might be upset that the away locker room didn’t contain a vending machine and Foot Spa!


And, so what if Celtic’s highlight of the season is welcoming Barcelona to Celtic Park? Is Barcelona not the world’s best team? Do they not have some of the world’s best players on their books? Just because Celtic operate within a league they win with ease, it should not disqualify them from taking part in club footballs showpiece event. It’s not like they get straight in either. Celtic, and teams from other teams with poor coefficients, have to go through a grueling pre-qualifying campaign before they get into the last 32 of the Champions League. If Celtic truly don’t deserve to be in the group stages then the onus is on one of the other teams to remove them from the process. Celtic survived the qualification round and thus were in the group on merit. That’s really all there is to it.


Durham has been out for Celtic on more than one occasion, going as far to call them a “joke” club. You could argue that Durham is just trying to say controversial things so that people are offended and then call up to the show to complain, thus netting Talk Sport a tidy sum in the process. To be honest, I personally find either to be reprehensible.


Either Durham is an arrogant ignoramus or he’s a money grabbing carnie.


Neither one would cover him in too much glory. Talk Sport has done an excellent job the past few years cleansing itself of trouble makers like Durham and his elk. Maybe it’s time to take this horse out the back and put a bullet in it, before it limps on to tumble over more hurdles?


Rant over.

Team Fortress Review Update......and shizzle

Team Fortress is proving very hard to play at the moment, in that no one’s ever online when I am and it’s online only. I’ve managed to sink about an hour into it and I’ve found it to be reasonable fun. There are 9 different “classes” of character you can play as and I’ve spent most of it playing as The Sniper (Self explanator9 and the Grunt (A big gun wielding nutter)


I’ve not played it enough to actually review it and it’s likely that I won’t any time soon, so I’ll “hang fire” (hate that term) on it for now and will get back to it at a later date. In the meantime, I’ll think of another game to review or I’ll do another movie review (Iron Man 3 is sitting on the side of my TV giving me a disparaging look for the past month. Poor blighter still isn’t out of the plastic). I’ve also got The Hobbit and Blade Runner on Blu Ray and have yet to watch them.

Rest assured, there will be something soon. I could complain about the day I had yesterday for endless pages, but I’ve done too much maudlin stuff on here in the past and now I want to do funny stuff or righteously angry stuff, as they give me the most enjoyment. A good rant energises every section of my body, but it has to be entertaining for the reader, otherwise I might as well go and see a shrink, who is at least paid to hear me complain.

You come on here for escapism. If reading me on a suicidal tangent is your idea of escapism, then you probably live in Luxembourg. However, if reading me on an angry, yet hopefully humorous tangent, is more your bag then I’ll hopefully be able to provide that in spades.

So yeah, this officially is a “fluff” piece. I’ve written purely to confirm to everyone that I’m still here. It’s a place holder, an interim champion, a short snappy bit of nothing disguised as something. I’ve just wasted your time really. Not much to see here. Go and have a nice cake or something. Hva eit on me (Metaphorically of course, I ain’t buying you no cake)

Ta

Dominik Diamonds Are Forever: The Orange Box, Part 3: Portal

Portal is an absolutely cracking game. I know another internet goon like me espousing the brilliance of this game must be getting redundant for some, but it really has to be said. Portal is up there with The Wire, Breaking Bad and Mr Muscle Window Cleaner in the “everyone universally bangs on about how bloody brilliant it is” category. But it is bloody brilliant. It really, really, REALLY is!

Portal is a game that challenges and enthrals in equal measure. Once I started playing it, I really couldn’t stop myself. I’d finish a puzzle and say “Well, that was fun, time for me to go feed/clothe/wash myself now before I become even more a shuffling wreck than I already am”. But then I’d walk into the next room “just to have a quick look at the next puzzle” and I’d ultimately then complete another three in a row. I just couldn’t help myself. It was like when I had a box of 12 Krispy Kreme donuts and ended up eating half the box because I still had coffee remaining and I just couldn’t stop dipping them.

To try and explain Portal won’t be entirely easy but I’ll give it a go. Basically, it’s a first person puzzler. You play an unnamed female character that wakes up in a strange testing centre. You quickly acquire a gun that can create Portals in the walls of the complex. You then have to use said Portal gun to try and escape the complex itself. Sometimes you won’t be able to access certain areas before you have pressed a button or moved a block onto a switch to ensure the escape door remains open. In situations like these, you will need more than just the Portal Gun itself to make it to safety.

I’ve personally never been hugely fond of games that included puzzles. The original Tomb Raider games on the Playstation would sometimes drive me to despair with some of their fiendish and downright annoying conundrums. However, Portal never frustrated me in that way. I mean, it did frustrate me, but in a way that made me want to solve the puzzle. It didn’t contain the agonising frustration that made me want to use Tomb Raider 2 as a £40 coaster.

The difficulty curve of the game was set up just right for me. It eased me in gradually and by the time the puzzles started getting harder, I felt prepared to tackle them. Considering that I’m hardly what you’d call “good” at video games, I can only conclude that Portal has been weighted perfectly in regards to difficulty. The game doesn’t outstay its welcome either. It clocks in at around 3 hours and is paced to complement the run time exceptionally well.

As far as negatives go, I don’t really have any. The game is perfect for what it needs to be. If it was released on it’s own for £40, it would not be worth the money as there just isn’t enough game to justify that price. As part of The Orange Box though, it’s a veritable steal. I almost feel guilty playing it, as if I’ve unfairly got one over on the people at Valve.

If you don’t like puzzlers, I’m still quite certain you will enjoy this. I really can’t find a complaint with it. It exceeds everything it should have been and happily embraces everything it can be.

Portal is just amazing and if you don’t like it, you can go fist a Yak

Rating – 10

Play it, love it, praise it and have a pint of sunshine while you’re at it.

Up next, we finish The Orange Box by reviewing "Team Fortress"

Dominik Diamonds Are Forever: The Orange Box, Part 2: Half Life 2

It’s easy to see why someone would be scared of the dark. You don’t know what’s in it for one. A lot of movies and video games are set in dark and dreary places, with the goal to give you the willies. However, it takes something special to make you scared in broad daylight and Half Life 2 is a game that does this with relish.

As mentioned in my previous blog post, I’d only briefly played the first Half Life and I’d found it too difficult and a little bit too unsettling, so I didn’t get very far in it. However, recently I’d purchased the curiously titled “Orange Box”, which is a disc with 3 games on it. Half Life 2 is one of those games. I started playing it not sure what to expect and within 15 minutes I found myself running across a roof in broad daylight being fired at by a helicopter without so much as a sandwich to defend myself with.

Half Life 2 wastes no time in scaring the fudge out of you, that’s for sure. The game starts up with a haunting and frankly disturbing video where a man encourages you to “wake up and smell the ashes”. You then find yourself walking through a dystopian train station while armoured guards smack you with a baton just to pass the time. After negotiating the train station and the adjourning square outside, I found myself in an apartment block, which was in the midst of a raid from the Gestapo. I then had to hot foot it to the roof while being chased by enough members of the law to inadequately police a 1980’s football match and promptly fell to the pavement below to be met with a sickening symphony of cracking bone and splitting sinews.

“How come every Half Life game seemingly involves me falling to my death in the first 5 minutes” I wondered aloud. After a couple more head first dives to the inviting concrete below, I managed to blunder my way into another building to be rescued by the resistance.

And that’s how Half Life 2 starts. I’ll repeat, that’s how the bloody thing STARTS!!!

Half Life 2 is a first person shooter set in a world where everything has gone to crap. Weird monsters constantly attack you and when the monsters relent for a few moments, super powered super cops attack you instead. In fact, one of my bigger criticisms of the game would be how most of the enemies you fight are so ruddy strong. At first you’re armed with just a crowbar but eventually you can pick up a pistol and a machine gun to help you with your villain killing ways. However, the guns are so ineffectual sometimes you could be confused with mistaking the bullets they contain for being made out of cotton wool.

At one point I was ambushed by an angry cop at a train station. Being no more than 3 foot away from him, and armed with my pistol, I not unwisely pointed the gun right at his head and promptly unleashed some lead on him. 3 bullets later and he was starting to show signs of fatigue, 5 bullets later and he looked a bit peaky, 17 bullets later and he finally fell to floor dead. I exaggerate of course, but seriously, this cop seemed to have a skull made out of Plexiglas.

Another complaint I’d have is that on more than one occasion I found my character stuck on the scenery. At one point I actually had to restart the game as my character got hopelessly stuck on a corner, like a fly would get caught in a spiders web. I tried crouching, jumping and even tried shooting at the wall in futile hope that it would release me from its iron grip, but alas, it would not.

So that’s where you would deduct points from Half Life 2. That being said, those gripes would be minor on my part. The game is an atmospheric masterpiece. I found myself getting wrapped up in the action on more than one occasion. Sometimes a helicopter will come by looking for you. I leapt behind a crate and felt my heart start pounding as I snuck a glance round the side to see if the copter had left.

The game has a really nifty physics engine as well. Sometimes you will be called upon to stack crates on top of a see-saw so that you can access other areas of the game. It works quite well and I had a lot of fun trying to work out what I was supposed to do, without getting too frustrated.

Overall, the moody atmosphere and interesting puzzles make Half Life 2 a great game. Even with the slew of First Person Shooters that have found their way onto consoles, I would still say that Half Life 2 is one of the best you can get.

I’d like to discuss the story a bit but I honestly had no bloody idea what was going on and the game doesn’t really sit down and explain to you. That being said, the gameplay is good enough that I didn’t really care, and there’s a lot to be said for that.

I’ll give it 8 out of 10

Buy it

Coming next, Part 3 of the Orange Box Review, Portal!

Dominik Diamonds are Forever - The Orange Box, Part 1: Introduction

The Orange Box – Part One: Introduction

I’ve never been much of a PC Gamer. I still have tragic flashbacks to my youth when I used to attempt to play Actua Soccer 2 on my Windows 95 Packard Bell, which had a whole 16 MB (Count em!) of memory and a graphics card that would have barely challenged a ZX Spectrum.

I’ve just never really taken the time to properly invest in the sort of PC you actually need to play games with any reasonable joy. I did have “The Movies” on my old Windows XP PC as well as FIFA 07 and they ran reasonably well but they were also hardly games that required a lot of graphical power and processing speed.

As a result of my PC woes, I’ve been pretty much exclusively a console gamer through the years and thus I wasn’t a member of the cherished “PC First Person Shooter Appreciation Club” of the late 90’s and early 00’s. I did play Deus EX but that was on the PS2. My review of that is wildly simple, It's bloody good but I could never be bothered to finish it.

I briefly played the original Half Life on the PS2 and found it to be a strange and unnerving experience. From what I recall, it involved walking around some sort of super-secret science lab and the game wouldn’t let me do anything until I pushed a tray, possibly containing deserts and assorted liqueurs, into some energy thing, which promptly caused everything to hit the bloody fan and the entire world went to crap.

I then spent the better part of 15 minutes walking around with a crowbar, not knowing what the hell to do, before falling down an elevator shaft to my death. This being the days before you could hop on You Tube and watch a video walkthrough, I instead opted to switch the PS2 off and slink away with my tail firmly betwixt my legs.

When Half Life 2 came out on the PC I never played it and I didn’t care to play it when it was released on the X-Box 360 either as a part of the curiously titled “Orange Box”. For those who aren’t aware of said Clementine Holding Device, “The Orange Box” contains 3 games on one disc, these games being “Portal”, “Team Fortress” and “Half Life 2”. TOB was originally released way back in 2007 but I never bothered to check it out.

However, I recently watched the Zero Punctuation review of The Orange Box and it made me want to finally take the plunge and play it. So thus I purchased it and over the next 3 reviews I’ll be reviewing each game on the disc, starting with Half Life 2.

 

I've not got a specific timeline as to when all this will be done and I may do other blog posts in between. All I will say is that you can expect me to finish this review before North New Hampshire Wanderers win the World Soccer Super Bowl Series Challenge Cup (I'm hoping this will manage everyone's expectations to a satisfactory level)

So brace yourselves people, cos Mike’s going to be playing some games, and he’s probably going to do a really bad job at it! Huzzah!

Dominik Diamonds are Forever - FIFA 13

FIFA 13 Review

Before we start here, yes I am aware that this game came out a whole year ago and yes, I know the new FIFA will soon be out making this review pretty much redundant, but may I counter those fine points by saying “NYAH NAH NAH NAH NAAHHHHH!”

For those of you who don’t know, I’m an Everton Fan. Supporting Everton can sometimes be the equivalent of dipping your nether regions in jam and then wandering past a school of wasps at lunchtime. However, in FIFA world, managing Everton can be quite nice, even life affirming. I don’t know why but there’s something viscerally pleasing about buying David Luiz and seeing him run around in Everton’s immediately recognisable Royal Blue.

In fact, one of the things I’ve always enjoyed about FIFA is making esoteric transfers from one club to another. Want to see Gianfranco Zola playing for Stevenage Borough? FIFA will do it. Want to see Eric Cantona play for Ipswich? FIFA will do it. Want to see Neil Shipperly calmly put out of his misery with a long range sniper rifle by Martin O’Neil on a grassy knoll? I’m sure FIFA will think of a way of adding it at some point, probably as DLC.

Ultimately, FIFA hasn’t really changed that much over the years. It’s essentially like having a high res Subutteo set that you can edit and play with to your heart’s content. Granted, there are games that let you edit in more detail than FIFA, but it’s always one of the aspects I’ve most enjoyed. It certainly adds life to the game experience. Most of my FIFA games start off grounded in reality as I try and use the real stats and teams, but by the end pretty much all of the teams are beyond warped. I usually load up Everton at some point in the edit mode. I also loaded up Arsenal with a front 3 of Suarez, Rooney and Walcott, only to crash to a 5-4 defeat to Spurs. It was fun though.

FIFA is quite easy for a non-football fan to pick up. Well, any non-football fan who has played a video game before. The defending system is overly difficult but you can switch to “Legacy Defending” which is a lot easier. You essentially just have to press “A” or “X” (Depending on the console you’re using) and the players will run right at the opposing player with the ball. If you’re rubbish at games, like I am, it becomes pretty easy to get to grip with after a game or two.

The in game difficulty mode is something that really winds me up though. There are 5 levels of difficulty on FIFA. The problem is that levels 2 and 3 are so far apart from each other, they might as well be in different solar systems trying to contact each other with two plastic cups and a piece of string. I went from killing teams 10-0 on level 2 to getting beaten handily 2-0 by the computer on level 3. Now I’m all for a challenge when it comes to gaming but, as Lisa Simpson once so eloquently put, I want a challenge I can actually do!

Smashing teams 7-1 every time is ultimately unsatisfying but after having 3 or 4 games on level 3 I would have rather of gone 7 rounds with Mad Max in the Thunder Dome. And I’m a football fan! I can only imagine what non-fans were thinking at that point. They’d probably already switched the console off and were balls deep into a game of Mario Party or Call of Dead Space Splinter Halo: The Bloodening.

That being said, there’s enough challenge here that gamers of most skill sets will be able to find a difficulty level which isn’t the gaming equivalent of shooting paraplegic fish in a very small barrel, which has to be a positive thing. Challenge does add length to a game. Despite my previous paragraph of whining, I do regularly play at level 3 now and it’s gotten to the point where the matches are quite close. The game can still be infuriatingly cheap at times, but so long as I restrict myself to only a few games per session, I can still enjoy a decent challenge without tearing my curtains off the wall and hiding underneath them softly sobbing to myself.

There’s also online play on FIFA, and I hear it’s quite good. Online play has never really been my thing outside of Crackdown and COD 4, but if it’s your thing then FIFA does it well, apparently. I have no idea what on Earth “Ultimate Team” is but I’ve spoken to people who love it so much they want to cook it dinner, mow its lawn and tickle is nipples, so there’s that to think about as well

At the end of the day, it’s FIFA. Graphically some of the players look like mince but that’s to be expected when a game has such a huge database of players. FIFA 13 is a game that has enough about it that it can appeal to both casual football fans and hardcore footy lovers. It does it with a generally slick presentation and it’s possible for pretty much every gamer to find his or her level while playing it.

You can get it now on the cheap, and the edit mode will let you make the transfers that need to be made so it may be worth a pop. I certainly enjoyed it, despite some of the misery it dropped on me at times. At the end of the day, that’s football.

9 out of 10

Youth Shut Up, No! YOUTH Shut up!

Do we, as football fans, sometimes expect too much from players in the youth system? After being a football supporter for nearly 20 years now, I’ve come to the conclusion that most football supporters fall into three categories.



The first category don’t really don’t care about the youth team. At the end of the day, the youth team is just there to provide the odd decent player. These supporters don’t have an emotional connection with the youth squad or the youth players. If one comes through and he’s amazing, fair enough, but he’d better be amazing, otherwise they’ll be cat calling the manager and demanding he bring on that 30 year old journeyman the club sparked 5 Million on in the January transfer window.



The second category care a lot about the youth team. They honestly believe that the youth team is the breading ground for future club legends. These supporters keep their ear to the ground to hear about the recent prospects who are delivering in the youth system and under 21’s. They will keep up to date with the youth team results and may even attend youth games when given the chance. They are fine with a 30 year old journeyman playing in the squad and delivering, but he better be delivering, otherwise they’ll be cat calling the manager and demanding that he bring on the most recent youth team graduate as he as “Proper boss against Blackburn in the youth cup”



The third category are those supporters who balance in the middle, bouncing between the extremes of categories one and two. For a while I used to think that I nestled in the third category, leaning slightly toward category two, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I may no longer be leaning that way and I may actually be firmly in camp number two.



On countless occasions now I seem to find myself always leaping in to defend any young prospect that has shown even an ounce of potential in the Everton Youth Team. I’ve even gone to watch youth games at Goodison Park this season (something I have never done in previous seasons). I actually know quite a few of the youth team by name and have a reasonable idea of their abilities and not just from playing FIFA either. I’m going to the Pre-Season Friendly against Accrington Stanley on the 17th July, mainly because I’m interested in seeing whether any of the younger players will get a run out. I will actually more excited if Matthew Kennedy plays on the right rather than Kevin Mirallas. I will be happier to see Francisco Junior playing in the Centre of Midfield rather than Leon Osman or Darren Gibson.



It’s got to the point now where I’ll actually be disappointed if some of the younger players don’t get a game than whether I’ll get to see Fellaini, Baines, Howard and co. I’m actually hoping Mason Springthorpe gets a game because I think he’s got real potential and I’d like to see him get a game under his belt.



I’ve also got to the point now where I will shout down at the dug out during games demanding that the manager get Barkley on or get Oviedo on (Not a member of the youth team per say, but still a younger player who’s been hungering for his chance)



Ross Barkley getting in the team has become a personal cause of mine in recent months. If he ever does become a regular first teamer, I think I’ll be more excited about it than he will. Watching Barkley has become nothing short of weird recently. I don’t know the man, have never met him and I haven’t got a clue about what he’s like off the pitch, but when I watch him play I want him to do so well that it’s almost like I’m watching a family member play. It’s beyond weird really.



Recently, Everton sold Jake Bidwell and most of the category one folk were coming out saying that he was never going to make it anyway. There were a few supporters, myself included, who lamented that this was a real shame and noted, correctly I feel, that Bidwell had never really been given a full chance to make it at the club. Out of all the players to move on, it was a potential LB, a position that Everton may be experiencing a massive hole if Man United gets their way in the coming months.



Sometimes I honestly think that Everton’s transfer policy is handled by a Magic 8-Ball. It’s bad enough to let a player go before he’s had a chance to reach his full potential, but it’s even worse when you do it when you know that you’re going to potentially be another player light in that position.



I recall visiting the Everton Forum www.grandoldteam.com and lamenting the loss of Bidwell. Most of the posters didn’t agree. One poster even suggested that some supporters were “wearing masks” over the incident and were only pretending to express displeasure in order to have a sly pop at Roberto Martinez.



I can’t speak for anyone else, but I will say that my comments in that thread and my comments in this post are truthful. I do think Bidwell could have done more at the club and I do think he deserved more of a chance. You can argue that he was 3rd or even 4th in line at the moment at the LB position. Fine then, send him on loan. I doubt getting him off the wage bill will finally allow the club to sign Messi or Ronaldo. I don’t think we could even get Phil Babb using that money.



I actually see Martinez coming in as somewhat of a positive. David Moyes, despite some success stories, wasn’t exactly great at blooding youngsters. Moyes usual policy was to give a younger player some games and then stick him on the bench, never use him, and then get rid of him claiming he had dreaded “attitude problems”. Rumours abound that this is the reason why Barkley had such a stop-start season last year.



I surely wasn’t the only one scratching my head to see Barkley not start the game against Sunderland after he had done so well against Arsenal. That game may have been one of the most frustrating away trips I had last season. Barkley wasn’t even named in the squad to face Liverpool in the run-in. Rumours again were that he was ill, but I’ve never had that confirmed. If he was healthy, then it was a disgrace that he didn’t at least find himself on the bench for that fixture.



Now I’m sure that some of the younger players in the squad have had, at times, attitude problems. But it seemed a bit of a regular occurrence to me. Even if all the players who were sent on their way due to having bad attitudes did in fact have bad attitudes, after a certain point shouldn’t the club themselves perhaps be held accountable and not just the individual players. If I run a club and countless players start acting up in the youth team, my first thought would be “bloody hell, what is up with the youth team?”. It wouldn’t be “Let’s just sack off the bad apples and carry on business as usual”



I’m hopeful that Martinez will give some of the younger players a chance but the fact he would rather spend money on bring in Alcaraz rather than promoting Shane Duffy leads me to believe that it might just be a case of “more of the same” at Everton football club.



A personal plea to all of those in category three, step on over to category two. If there’s enough of us, maybe one day players like Francisco Junior, Duffy, Barkley, Bidwell and Garbutt make get a fair shake.



One can only dream.

Mike Watches a Movie - Man of Steel

From what I hear, Man of Steel is receiving a bit of a panning from critics. After viewing the movie last weekend, I think I’m ready to give my take on the movie.




Overall, I was entertained by the movie. I certainly enjoyed it more than “Superman Returns” from 7 years ago. It had a much bigger feel to it than that particular movie. I must say though that after leaving the movie theatre my first impulse was to go home and watch the original Richard Donner “Superman” again.



I liked Henry Cavill in the role of Superman. I found him likeable and I was rooting for him throughout the movie. With a beard he kind of looked like a muscled up Andy Murray actually. That being said, I don’t think he bettered or even matched the performance of Christopher Reeve from the original movie. That is more a comment on the strength of Reeve’s performance as opposed to a comment on the weakness of Cavill. He was a perfectly fine Superman and I think that he has potential to grow into the role in future movies should he be given the opportunity.



Hans Zimmer’s musical score, though not bad per say, doesn’t do much for the movie and is barely even close to the excellence of John William’s score. The lack of the classic Superman theme really hurts the movie. There are numerous scenes where a bit of the William’s theme or even a re-mix of it would have been greatly appreciated. The movie just lacks certain panache without it. I can certainly understand the reasons why they wouldn’t want to include it, but I still think the movie is a lesser film for not having it.



I’ve seen some people complain that the flashbacks aren’t in order ala Batman. I’ll say this right away, I hate origin stories. A character like Superman really doesn’t need an origin story to begin with. It certainly didn’t require a whole film dedicated to it like Iron Man did. I actually preferred the flashbacks being placed throughout the film as opposed to doing the big origin build up. They get into the meat and potatoes of the story pretty quickly and I appreciated that.



I actually kind of liked that the flash backs weren’t in chronological order. To me, that was an accurate representation of how the human mind works. When you think about things that have happened in the past, do you do it in order? Of course not. Your mind swoops and shuffles between memories and whatever is the most relevant one at the time usually comes to mind. I liked that this was reflected in the movie. Whether the writer intended that as such I’m not sure but I think it still stands as a relevant point.



The fight scenes have gotten some stick as well but I found them to be visually and mentally stimulating. It can’t be easy trying to recreate some of the bizarre fight situations that a character like Superman would find himself in and I thought the movie did an admirable job in that regard. I watched the movie in 2D so it may have been easier on my eyes than those who watched in 3D. I’ve actually read in some reviews that people got motion sickness watching it but I think that would have to be in jest.



I’m not going to go into the plot too much, just in case anyone reading this hasn’t seen the movie. I know other reviewers had issues with the story and the scripting. Most of them are fair criticisms in my opinion. The characters on the whole are overly simplified and spend most of the story going on big speeches in lieu of actually developing any character. Kevin Costner as Jonathon Kent spends every scene he’s in going on some speech or another at every free moment. I can only imagine there were scenes of the Kent family enjoying a breakfast meal at their local Harvester that had to be cut due to time constraints as the movie just couldn’t contain another 5 minute Costner speech about responsibility and humanity.



The lack of character depth is probably the biggest problem with the movie actually. A Superman movie thrives or dies on the supporting cast. Superman himself is so infallible and so good that it’s hard to find him fully interesting for a 2 hour movie. It’s by surrounding him with interesting characters like Lois Lane and Lex Luthor that drama can be derived. Superman is practically invincible so it’s hard to feel that he is ever in any personal peril.



However, Lois is human. She can be hurt and she can be killed hence this is where the drama from a Superman movie is usually pulled from. If the supporting cast isn’t up to it then the film lacks a fair amount of drama. They try but I never really felt myself caring about what happened to the characters. Most of them are so one dimensional and so blasé about putting themselves in danger that it just totally took me out the movie from a dramatic standpoint.



To be honest, I think pretty much everything, bar maybe the fight scenes, was much better in the original Superman movie from the 70’s. The music was better, the characters were better, the story was better and the comedy was better. That’s not to say that there is no worth to “Man of Steel”.



Like I said earlier, I enjoyed watching it and if it was on TV and I hadn’t seen it in a while, I’d probably be able to sit down and watch it again and derive some entertainment from it. It’s not a good movie though. Apparently Christopher Nolan fans are going on the defensive but I don’t know why. Everyone makes a bad movie now and then. It’s impossible to be a film maker and have a spotless record. This one didn’t hit the mark but I’m sure he’ll do alright in future movies. “The Dark Knight” is still one of the finest films ever made and I loved and still love “Inception”.



I’m actually surprised that two films with such rich and enjoyable characters spawned a movie with such wooden characters as “Man of Steel” but hey I guess Nolan was overdue for a bad film. It’s not an all time stinker and if you go to it with an open mind, I imagine there’ll be things in it that you can enjoy. Just buy yourself some nachos with some of that cheesy flavoured warm plastic that cinema’s sell, sit back, enjoy it as best you can, have a grumble with your mates in the pub/fast food store/wine bar afterwards and then buy Richard Donner’s “Superman” off Amazon when you get home.

Ginger Doesn't Take It Anymore

The Venue: Silas High School Gymnasium

Attendance: 350

The Show: Female Combat Council presents "Chaos Bleeds"

The Match: Ginger Gargano Vs "Darling" Daisy Dempsey for the FCC Unified Championship

 

Ginger hated Daisy. She represented everything she despised about women's wrestling. She was cute, perky and did a "Cow Girl" gimmick. She would come to the ring in chaps with a lasso, which she would rap around a fan at ringside and pull him in for a kiss. The men slobbered over her, like they did for most of the women on the show. The girls for the most part encouraged it. They saw it as a necessary evil, even if it could sometimes be a little degrading. It ensured that the drooling men came back each month, and ensured that the sport would survive that little bit longer.

 

Ginger would have none of it. One time, while she was coming down to the ring, a fan patted her on the back. No sooner had his hand touched her shoulder, Ginger had grabbed the man and pulled him over the apron. She had brutalised him with stomps and punches until security managed to dive him and grab him to safety. Fans didn't touch Ginger after that, and that was the way she liked it.

 

The bell rung and Ginger raced across the ring. Daisy hadn't even had a chance to remove all of her gaudy ring attire. She turned in surprise, only to walk right into a big yakuza kick. Daisy's nose was broken immediately on impact. She scrambled on the mat, trying to grab the rope, the ref, anything. The ref dove in to see if she was okay to continue. Before Daisy could even finish saying "yes", Ginger was back on offense. She elbowed Daisy in the face, hard! Another two well placed elbows cracked against Daisy's face. Daisy slumped in the corner unsure of where she was. Ginger moved away to the opposite corner. The ref took the chance to check if Daisy was okay in the corner. Over the concerned murmur of the crowd, the ref heard a blood curdling yell of "REF! MOVE!!"

 

The ref turned around to see the terrifying site of Ginger charging into the corner. The ref was just able to dodge in time. Daisy isn't so lucky. Ginger mauled Daisy with a brutal knee. She then dragged Daisy into the middle of the ring and pulled her up by her hair. Daisy doubled over and tried to grab at Ginger's hands but she found it impossible to break Ginger's iron like grip. Ginger looked out at the crowd and sneered. The man on the front row stared up at the ring, Daisy's lip stick still visible on his cheek, a look of concern on his face.

 

Ginger reared back and delivered a nasty "Kawada Kick" right into Daisy's forehead. Daisy slumped a little but fought to stay on her feet. This was unwise. Ginger reared back and kicked her again and again, and again and again! The man on the front row shielded his eyes, unable to witness the carnage. After at least six brutal kicks, Ginger pulled Daisy's head between her legs, pointed high to the ceiling, and then lifted her high up in a Crucifix Power Bomb. With Daisy as high up as possible, Ginger drove her down into a Sit Out Power Bomb. The referee counted Daisy's shoulders down for three. It was an act of mercy. Ginger snatched her Championship Belt from the ring announcer and didn’t even bother to wait for her to finish the announcement.

 

"Ladies and Gentleman, your winner and STILL FCC Unified Champion...Ginger Gargano!"

Another contest finished. As vicious as it was brief!

 

Medics attend to Daisy in the ring as Ginger walks through the curtain. She finds the promoter waiting for her and he is spitting feathers.

 

"Ginger! What the Hell? It's bad enough that you haven't had a title defence over 5 minutes since you won that Belt, but now you go and do THAT to Daisy? Dammit, she's one of my top draws! How the hell is she going to draw money now you've smashed her damn face in?"

 

Ginger smirks

 

"Come on Tank, what do you expect? I'm a high calibre professional athlete and you put me in there with 'Cow Girl Barbie'? You're lucky it went as long as it did. You put me in there with someone who can actually hang with me next time and maybe the fight will last longer than 5 minutes"

 

Tank holds his hands over his face and groans

 

"Ginger, I'm not even sure there will be a next time. Do you think anyone in that locker room wants to face you? You take things too far!"

 

Ginger holds up her FCC Unified Championship Belt

 

"Listen, if they want this belt, they're gonna have no choice. If they're not tough enough to hang with me, then they shouldn't even be in this business. I mean, shit Tank, what the hell sort of smut show are you running here? You've got Daisy running around wearing next to nothing, you've got a tag team who are supposed to be 'Cheerleaders' and you've got someone pretending to be Cleopatra!"

 

"Ginger! You listen and you listen good because I am sick, FUCKING SICK, of having this conversation with you every time I run a show. You see that crowd out there tonight? This venue holds 750 people. We used to turn people away when we ran shows here. We used to have to set up bleachers so that we could fit everyone in. Business has been in the toilet for months now. 7-8 months ago, we had 75 people in that building. 75! Ever since we started having the new gimmicks, business has been slowly picking up. Fans like that stuff. They find it entertaining"

 

"They like it because they're goddam perverts!"

 

"No! They like it because it gives the show some flavour, something different. You going out there and murdering my girls is bad for business"

 

"I'm the best wrestler you've ever booked Tank!"

 

"Yes you are, and it hasn't done shit for business! People don't like you Ginger. They're scared of you. Dammit some fan a few months ago patted you on the back and you almost put him in hospital"

 

"He was trying to cop a feel!"

 

"He wasn't doing shit!"

 

Ginger fumes and flings the belt at Tank.

 

"You know what Tank? Fuck you! Fuck you and fuck your stupid fucking softcore sex show! You think I need this shit? You think I want to be champion of a hell hole like this? You can take this belt and hand it to one of your skanks in the locker room. You can dress her as a naughty school girl or some other shit! I don't need this place and I don't need you!"

 

Ginger storms past Tank. The locker room has emptied and all of the girls are watching Ginger. One of the sexy Cheerleaders throws Ginger's bag out of the locker room. Ginger picks it up.

 

"What the hell are all you prissy bitches looking at? You want some of me? I'll fucking tar you all right now!"

 

The girls all look at each other and file back into the locker room. Ginger spits on the floor and then walks out into the cold New York air.

Football Reheated - The 1958 FA Cup Final (Bolton vs Man United)

Football Reheated – 1958 FA Cup Final

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1958_FA_Cup_Final

I’m going to start this match review by talking about two superior matches. Why am I doing this? I don’t know. No idea why. No idea why I didn’t just review one of the other two. I’m weird like that to be fair.

Both Bolton Wanderers and Manchester United were no strangers to Wembley Stadium during the 50’s. Both had already lost a Cup Final in the decade up to that point, so the 1958 Final was set up to be redemption for one, while being the ultimate kick in the knackers for the other.

Bolton’s loss had been in the epic “Matthews Final” of 1953. A truly sensational 90 minutes of back and forth attacking football that had ended 4-3 in Blackpool’s favour. It was the sort of wild and exciting Cup Final that you don’t get any more. I don’t know what it is about the New Wembley but it’s essentially become the stadium where exciting football goes to die. I can’t think of one FA Cup Final since 2007 that has come even remotely close to being as exciting as the 1953 Final. So yeah, Bolton had lost, after being in the lead no less. This was a chance for the team, the City and club legend Nat Lofthouse to finally wipe those painful memories away.

Manchester United had been at Wembley the previous year and had lost, in controversial fashion, to Aston Villa. United keeper Ray Wood had been unfairly injured by the Villains, leaving United without a first choice goalkeeper for large sections of the match. United ended up going down 2-1, a result which left a very sour taste in the mouth for them and their fans. Things were sadly due to get much worse for United and the beloved “Busby Babes”. 

The Munich Air Disaster would see the tragic death of over half the 1957 Cup Final squad. As the football world mourned, something quite exceptional happened. A depleted United squad somehow managed to make their way to the 1958 Cup Final. Here was a plot from a movie actually happening in real life in front of the worlds eyes. Outside the City of Bolton, Manchester United were going to be the neutrals favourites in this Cup Final. To be fair, how could they not? This was a real life fairy-tale that just needed the Hollywood Ending to make it complete.

Football though, more often than not, likes to go “off-script”. This was one of those occasions.

The version of the match I watched was The Official Release from ILC Media. It has Kenneth Wolstenholme on commentary and he does a solid and workman like job of it all. The picture quality isn’t that great and there’s very little extras on the DVD, but for a match that was from 1958 the video and sound quality matched my expectations. ILC Media do quite well with these releases most of the time. The only thing I’d say is that sometimes they could show more of the build-up and include some post match interviews. 

I can understand why they didn’t with this final as there likely wasn’t any pre or post match interviews. I was speaking to my uncle, who used to watch the Cup Finals live back in the day, and asked him about what used to happen at half time. This was before the days where you’d cut to a studio and there would be a host and ex-pro’s dissecting the match in great detail (Or lack of detail in some channels cases). Apparently, they’d just show a straight shot of the pitch for 15 minutes until the half started or they would cut to a test card until the second half kicked off. I’m guessing this was a case of the latter as the first half ends and then the DVD cuts right back to the kick off again.

United actually have more of the ball at the immediate start of the match and enjoy a fair bit of possession in the opening few minutes. It doesn’t really go anywhere though. Bolton win a corner in opening 3 minutes, which United make a mockery of clearing. Bolton promptly put it back into the box and it falls at the feet of Nat Lofthouse who slots it away with his usual predatory brilliance, making it 1-0.

From the kick off, United again enjoy a reasonable amount of possession but they struggle to do anything with it. By comparison, Bolton look continuously dangerous every time the ball is with them. It’s a very direct approach but by no means is it an unskilled one. Dennis Violet spends the early part of the first half being United’s main go-to player. Charlton is quiet for most of the half and you can see that the plane crash is effecting his overall performance. His passing fails to retain its speed and accuracy that you associate with him. He’s even given a reasonable amount of space by the Bolton defence but he doesn’t really do anything with it.
Bolton are unforgiving and just plain ruthless. Any time a United player gets the ball he’s either charged down and disposed of or he’s reduced to having to hit it long, whereby the receiving player promptly loses it to the coldly efficient Bolton defence. Stand out players in the first half for Bolton are number 7 Brian Birch and Number 3 Tommy Banks. United keeper Harry Gregg is called upon to make a number of saves in the first 20 minutes as his defence continuously keep dropping him in it.

It takes about 20 minutes for United to finally have any kind of meaningful attack when Violet manages to get hold of the ball in the Bolton box. However, his shot has too much welly on it and it ends up flying over the cross bar for a Bolton goal kick. Violet almost makes up for it 5 minutes later by laying off the ball for a shot from Ernie Taylor. Taylors shot forces the Bolton Keeper Eddie Hopkinson to make his first meaningful save of the contest. The resulting corner leads nowhere but United do manage to win a throw in from it. The throw goes Charlton’s way and he finally makes an impact on the proceedings by delivering a cracking shot from outside the box that forces another save from Hopkinson.

The next 10-15 minutes ends up being a bit of a midfield slog as both teams jockey for position in the middle of the park. Bolton spend most of their time looking for the defence splitting pass necessary to unleash Lofthouse on the hapless United defence. United spend most of it trying to retain possession and play Violet or Charlton in with a long ball. The game never really settles and neither goal keeper is given too brisk of a challenge. There’s a lot of work-rate but there isn’t really an end product for either side. United look more comfortable in attack for the remainder of the half but they always seem to be missing the last piece of the attacking puzzle that they need. Bolton seem content to sit back at points and wait for their chances. At no point do you sense any immediate urgency from the Bolton players to close the United players down. The defence are patient and keep the United attacks at bay until the ref blows for half time

United start the second half reasonably brightly but their game lacks that killer blow or viciousness that you sense it requires for them to draw level. Bolton clearly do not have the same problem and this is proven in the 50th Minute where, after a sustained few minutes of Bolton pressure, Nat Lofthouse bundles both the ball and Harry Gregg into the net for Bolton’s second. The fact that this goal is allowed to stand is nothing short of farcical. Dennis Stevens scuffs a shot and Gregg manages to get a hand to it. The ball hangs in the air and Gregg catches it quite comfortably. From behind comes Lofthouse at, and this is a conservative guess, about 83 Miles per hour. Lofthouse delivers a pro wrestling like shoulder charge that sends Gregg careening into the back of his own goal, along with the ball still in his hands.

As you would imagine, Gregg is knocked out cold upon impact. It really is disgusting when you watch it back as Gregg is inches away from smashing his head off the goal post. Thanks to some smelling salts and liberal use of the magic sponge, Gregg is eventually able to play on. It should be noted that Lofthouse doesn’t even bother to check on Gregg. In fact the only Bolton player who seemingly gives a crap is Ray Parry, who actually comes over to check on the United keeper.

Despite there being nearly 35 minutes left at this point, the game is all but over. United are thoroughly demoralised by the goal and as the half rolls on, it becomes painfully obvious that they just aren’t capable of breaching the Bolton defence. Colin Webster does manage to get free for a run on goal with around 25 left, but his shot is saved with relative ease by an in form Hopkinson. Webster gets another chance with about 20 minutes left when Violent plays a nice pass to him in the box, but it’s a tight angle to shoot from and Hopkinson has it more than covered.

The match slowly starts to grind down around this point as Bolton sit back again when it becomes obvious that United are not likely to score. The Bolton players are content to hang back and just catch United on the offside trap, rather than go in for the jugular. Things get a bit bad tampered towards the end of the game as Stevens ends up on the ground with the Bolton players accusing Webster as the guilty party. Sadly, this was back before instant replay so we never find out what actually happened. Wolsestenholme doesn’t see it either. This is really the last thing of any real interest during normal time. Bolton get close to a third in stoppage time but Greaves manages a clearance off the line to keep the score respectable. The ref brings proceedings to an end not soon after and Bolton are crowned FA Cup Winners.

So, the question arises, is this match any good? The quality of football on offer is by no means terrible but it really lacks the sort of pulse and excitement that would draw the neutral audience in. I think what this final is missing more than anything else is a United goal. I think what led to Bolton’s undoing back in ’53 was that Blackpool were able to get a goal back. Once that goal went in, it had the two fold effect of firstly putting Bolton a bit on edge but also giving Blackpool the impetuous to keep attacking. You really get the impression here that after about the 70 minute mark, United really don’t believe they’re going to get one back. This seeps through to the United fans and it kind of sucks the air out of the match.

Bolton never really appear to be in much trouble at any point during the Final and mentally seem to be much stronger than their United opponents. A goal maybe at the start of the half or right after Lofthouses second, could have really spiced the remainder of the Final up. As it is, it’s a good game of football that doesn’t really play that much with your emotions. It’s a solid kick about, but is also pretty much by the numbers.

In a lot of ways, this Final reminds me of Everton’s win over Watford in the 1984 FA Cup Final. Both matches are very similar. Everton and Bolton both take a 1-0 win into half time and then essentially kill off the game with another in the second half. Andy Gray even assaults the Watford keeper on the way to the second goal (Although it’s nowhere near as controversial as Lofthouses goal here)
Lofthouse is the MVP from the Bolton end of things. He scores an excellently taken goal in the first half and then commits an atrocity in the second half to put the game beyond doubt. While it is nice to see him shake Gregg’s hand at the end of the match, it would have been comforting to see him give a crap during the match itself. Still, Gregg ends up being fine so I guess it’s not that big of a deal in the long run. It does give the match its main talking point as well.

Gregg would probably be United’s best player. It would be him or Violet really. I would say that Gregg just edges it as he makes a number of good saves and does well to continue the game after being legit knocked silly for a few minutes. He ends up with a lot more work to do than Hopkinson at the other end due to the numerous errors made by his defenders.

Lofthouse passed away during the 2010/2011 season. That season also saw Bolton and Man United get to the FA Cup Semi Finals that year against Stoke and Man City respectively. A lot of people were into the prospect of seeing the clubs battle in the Final again. It would have been a fitting piece of symmetry had Bolton Vs United been the Final, with Bolton perhaps pulling off the upset with Kevin Davies, almost the modern equivalent of Lofthouse, getting the winner. Once again though, football refused to read the script and we ended up getting a dour Man City Vs Stoke Final. What can you do eh?

Overall I would only recommend this Final if, like me, you already own ’53 and ’57 and want to see the eventual conclusion to the story. It’s by no means a bad game of football, and has been better than every Wembley Final since 2007, but it doesn’t have the excitement that would appeal to a neutral fan. If United had been closer to winning, or had even managed to actually pull off the upset, I reckon this Final could have been one of the all time greats. As it is, it’s merely a composed and disciplined Bolton performance from back when they were a real force in the game.

Highlights below.

 

Below is the link for the Match on Amazon (I do like how an angry Man United fan has given the match a * rating )

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Final-Bolton...fa+cup+fina%3B

This and That by Mikey Fitzgerald: Random Comics Thoughts

I’m not entirely sure what’s happening with DC Comics at the moment, but a lot of people I talk to are really starting to go off them. I am not a full fledged comic nerd. I like to read comics and my house is chock full of the blasted things, but I’ll be honest and say that I’m not up to date with all the ins and outs of the industry. What insider knowledge I do know I usually get from the website “4thletter” or the occasional chat with my pal Phil.




The whole comic industry does seem like a bizarre and interesting place to be. I’ve always secretly wanted to write a comic or graphic novel. I have never given it more than a glancing thought though because I can’t draw for toffee and it seems like such a weird industry to get in to. It’s mainly the drawing though. Seriously, I struggle to draw a convincing looking stick man, the idea of drawing a sprawling fight scene across a murky dystopian landscape would be far beyond my piddling abilities.



The thing is, whenever I’ve thought about writing a comic I usually always want to write about the DC characters, this despite the fact that right now I’m enjoying reading Marvel much more than DC. This seems to be the general consensus from other people that I talk with. Everyone just seems so much more into Marvel. Some aren’t even buying any comics from the supposed “Big Two” and instead are buying comics from independent companies.



That being said, if someone offered me a contract tomorrow to write a story for an existing character from DC, Marvel or anywhere else, I’d still likely pick a DC character just because I find them so interesting. Make no mistake, the DC universe is a grim and depressing place filled with a host of brooding dark characters. With characters like Batman, Jason Todd, Deathstroke, Lex Luthor, Sinestro and others, DC has a very rich talent pool to draw from. Why then, is the current drop of DC books seemingly failing to grip people’s attention? I mean, I buy quite a few DC comics and I’m sure DC makes a reasonable amount in sales each week, so commercially I don’t think they’re failing. But critically, the stories really seem to have missed the mark with more long time readers.



As someone who buys DC, I find most of the time that I am buying the books I buy more for the characters they contain than the actual stories they offer. For instance, I’ve been a regular buyer of “Red Hood and The Outlaws” since its inception. We’re at issue 20 now and none of the narratives have gripped me in any noteworthy way. I keep buying the book because I’m a fan of Jason Todd and occasionally he has an interaction with Starfire, Arsenal or someone else in the Batman universe that I find intriguing. Outside of that, there’s no other reason why I buy it. The current story of Jason wilfully having his memories wiped and the team having a bounty on them isn’t a bad story but it’s not exactly rocking my world either.



The book itself is a collection of good moments but the actual substance of the stories themselves never really infuses. For instance, in one of the earlier stories, Jason and his date end up getting roped into an interplanetary war. Cue plenty of nice scenes where Jason’s date is freaking out that she’s on a space ship while Jason is off shooting aliens. But that’s the only real joy I got from it. I found the actual story of Starfire trying to repel invaders to her home planet rather dull if I’m honest.



I seem to buy DC books now more as a force of habit than actually being interested in the story. Batman and Robin, Red Hood, Batwing, Green Lantern, Red Lanterns and Suicide Squad have all become things I just buy when I’m in the comic shop. In fact, from issue 21 onwards I think I’m going to cut all of them. I might stick with Red Hood and possibly Red Lanterns, but the others are just taking up space now. Suicide Squad in particular has been a massive disappointment for me. I’d been such a huge fan of “Secret Six” and was dismayed when it was pulled. “Suicide Squad” started off looking like it would be the natural successor to that book, and it was probably intended as such.



Ultimately though, it’s gone from being quite interesting to being pretty much a slog. It really is a shame because a comic whose main characters are Deadshot, Harley Quinn and King Shark should really be a great read. King Shark hasn’t been as funny or as entertaining in “Suicide Squad” as he was in “Secret Six”. I really don’t like the new design for him either. It’s weird how a character who is essentially one dimensional can actually lose depth of character, but it’s happened in this book.



Deadshot is by far the best thing in the book and he’s the only character you truly find yourself rooting for. He’s not a traditional bad guy. To call him a bad guy is probably going too far. Deadshot is a selfish person who does bad things because of it. He can equally be capable of doing good things as well, but again it will always be for a selfish reason. That being said, I still kind of like him. He’s the main reason I’ve stuck around as long as I have in all fairness.



Quinn has just kind of got annoying now. I think, more than any other character in DC at the moment, Harley Quinn is the most over-exposed. I just don’t think we need anymore Quinn right now. For the past 10 years they’ve just been shoving more and more Harley at us to the point that I think I’ve hit my Quinn Tolerance Level. She’s a great character but I really think it would do her good to disappear for a little bit. Character’s need a break now and then. For instance, I’d be highly interested in a Killer Croc comic right now because it seems like ages since I last saw him (It likely isn’t of course).



One of the reasons why I’m so into the new “Justice League of America” and spin off “Vibe” comic is that it’s using some characters that we either haven’t seen in a major role for a while (Martian Manhunter) or incorporating some of the brand new ones they’ve just brought in (Vibe, New Green Lantern). JLA has a feeling of freshness to it, even when it also contains other regular characters that have been popping up elsewhere (Catwoman, Green Arrow, Amanda Waller etc)



I tapped out on Catwoman somewhere around issue 11 or 12 I think. I can’t remember. I kind of liked it at first and even when I didn’t, I stuck around as I wanted to give it a chance. It just got to the point where I wasn’t enjoying it anymore and even my admiration for the character couldn’t get me to stick with it.



On the other side of the coin, I’m really starting to get more into Marvel at the moment. A vs X was excellent and felt like a proper “event”. It left the Mutant and Marvel landscape in such a way that I’m excited to see where it goes. Marvel was also smart to introduce a slew of new mutants to enrol at Wolverines school and work hard at giving them recognisable personalities. Quentin Quire in particular has been a stand out but I like Kid Apocalypse too. X-Force went out in a blaze of glory and I was genuinely upset to see it fall by the wayside. Fantomex and Deadpool were excellent with Fantomex being toned up, while Deadpool was toned down. It also had a major role for Daken towards the end, which always scores comic points. Daken’s book getting pulled caused me to lament for a long time, so it was good for him to get a run in the finale of X-Force.



So yeah, Marvel is rocking my world more than DC right now. The number of DC books I buy is going down where as the number of Marvel ones I buy are on the up. I’m sure financially DC will do just fine, but we’re swiftly moving to a time where I will be buying a mere 4 DC books a month, where it used to be nearly 10. Meanwhile, my Marvel intake is going to swell from about 3 to something like 7 or 8. Take into account the ID books I buy and the percentage of income I send DC’s way is going to be considerably lower than it used to be.



Sort it out DC. I want to like you, but you’re not making it easy.

Football Re-Heated: Romania Vs Argentina, USA '94

Football Re-Heated – Romania Vs Argentina – USA 94

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1994_FI...a_vs_Argentina

I’ve never liked Argentina. In football obviously. I have no beef with them outside of the sporting arena. I don’t think I’ve even met an Argentinian before. But when it comes to sport, I despise them. I think everyone outside of Argentina hates them too. They are the archetypal villains. They will cheat outrageously and do whatever it takes to win. Other teams are guilty of this too, but what sets Argentina apart is the sheer brazenness of the way they cheat. For them it’s a way of life. Win at all cost. Sod the rules, They are only there to be broken! The sad thing is that if Argentina ever actually played the game fairly they probably would still win quite a lot of matches and be universally well liked. When Argentina actually play fairly they end up producing some excellent football as this match readily shows.

USA 94 was kind of a miserable experience for Argentina, highlighted by their star player Diego Maradona getting suspended for failing a drug test. The terrifying clip of Mardona celebrating a goal against Greece, his eyes wide as saucers and his mouth frothing like a gopher with rabies, will live in my mind forever. Whatever he was taking, it seemed to be working. I find the story of Maradona a living example that there is such a thing as karma. I know a bunch of people are going to be falling over themselves saying “Don’t have a go at Diego, he won a World Cup in 86’ single handed!”

This one has always rankled me. Yes Argentina won the World Cup in 86’ but outside of England (Who they had to cheat against to beat) and Germany, who of any consequence did they play at that World Cup? I’m sorry, but getting a soft draw to the Quarters and then having to PUNCH the ball into the net to beat ENGLAND leaves a lot to be desired. “But Mike, that other goal he scored was amazing!”. Yes, it was a very good goal and Maradona fans cling to it like a security blanket. To them, this is the proof that Maradona isn’t the cheating scum bucket that he’s made out to be. This one goal has somehow rose this cocky little scoundrel with small man syndrome into one of sports greatest heroes. Look, the goal is excellent, that I’m not disputing, but that doesn’t excuse Diego’s prior actions. If a man saves a child from a burning building but then murders 15 others in a bank robbery, does that make him a good person or a bad person? I know which side of the fence I’m on in this one.

Anyway, a Maradona-less Argentina had made it to the second round of the World Cup where they were scheduled to face an impressive Romanian side. Romania had got to the second round by beating pre-tournament favourites Columbia and also sneaking past tournament hosts USA 1-0 in their final group game. The Yanks, by virtue of also beating the Columbians, had pretty much already qualified at that point.
Despite a shock loss to Bulgaria, Argentina had qualified with relative comfort from their group and most fancied them to do well despite the loss of Maradona to a drugs ban. Maradona, always needing to be centre of attention, still attended the game and did some commentary for Argentinian radio, a mere stones throw from where Motty and Trevor Brooking were sitting. The version of the match I watched was the BBC TV version and despite the fact it was clearly taped off a VCR and then copied to a DVD, the quality was surprisingly good.
Romania had done well in Italia 90’ and had ended up going out in Round 2 to Jack Charlton’s Ireland on penalties. Key players for them were the uber talented Hagi and a determined Dumitrescu. Argentina of course had used every single trick in the book to make it to the final at Italia 90’ and, in true panto villain style, had managed to knock the hosts out in the semi-finals before going on to enter a performance so vile in the final that it went from being infuriating to just plain embarrassing. Their play in USA 94 had been a lot more positive and that was a trend that continued here in this match.

The action was hot a heavy with both teams playing counter attacking football. Pretty much every goal in the game was a result of a counter attack as both defences were exposed on a number of occasions. Ortega had been shuffled into the Maradona role and performed admirably. Rather than diving all over the place when tackled, he often stood firm on his feet and had a number of very good chances towards the end of the first half.

Romania were able to take the lead after a mere 11 minutes into the contest. Hagi won a, admittedly soft, free kick outside the Argentine box. Dumitrescu aimed to cross the ball in to the box and find the head of one of the two Romanian defenders who had come up for the free kick. He needn’t have bothered. The “cross” swung over a helpless Islas in the Argentine goal and landed in the corner of the net. Dumitrescu quickly acted like he meant it all along but he wasn’t fooling anybody.

Argentina were very quick to get back into the match and at the 15 minute mark Batistuta (sporting what I could only describe as a lions main on his head) went down in the Romanian box and the referee pointed to the spot. The penalty, similar to the free kick earlier, was pretty soft. At most he fell into the Romanian number 3 Prodan. Batistuta stepped up and coolly slotted the spot kick home. 1-1.

Argentina had little time to relax though as Romania were soon straight back up the pitch. Hagi went on a teasing run down the right side of the pitch and played in a peach of a through ball into the box to Dumitrescu who tapped it past Isla with alarming ease to put the Romanians back into the lead. The Romanians had essentially created two goals from nothing and only 18 minutes had passed by!

You’d think the match would settle down this point but you’d be dead wrong. Romania had another run up the pitch where Isla barely denied Dumistrescu his hat-trick with a great save. Argentina immediately broke down the other side with Ortega almost clean on goal before being smothered by both a defender and the goal keeper. Romania then went up the pitch AGAIN with Petrescu’s long range shot smacked away by a desperate Isla. This all happened in the space of 45 seconds. It was like watching your mates play FIFA.

The first half continued in this vein with both teams taking it in turns to attack the others goal. Argentina made a conscious effort towards the end of the half to try and slow the pace down and build attacks up slowly but the Romanians stuffed 4-5 guys in the box and waited to steal the ball back. The Argentinians continued to give the ball away at silly times and Romania aimed to punish them at every turn. Batistuta did a fine job of scuffing a shot wide at the 25 minute mark.

Argentina dominated the first 15 minutes of the second half, instigating attack after attack on the Romanian goal. However, every attack was subdued by the Romanian defence. The fourth goal in the match came from a, say it with me, counter attack. Ortega’s corner kick at the 56 minute mark was headed out to Basualdo who was easily dispossessed by Dumitrescu on the outside of the Romanian box. Dumitrescu stormed down the middle of the pitch. All three Argentine defenders pounced on him but none of them noticed a sprinting Hagi stampeding down the right hand side of the pitch. Dumitrescu played Hagi a peach of the ball and Hagi easily tucked the ball away to put Romania 3-1 up.

Argentina was not to be outdone and continued to pressurize the Romanian box. Romania decided to keep it on the ground and hold on to the ball whenever they had possession. Watching them calmly hang on to the ball and pass it between themselves reminded me a little bit of the famed “Tiki-Taka” style of play that Spain employs.

The game didn’t so much fizzle out at this point but the pace did noticeably slow as Romania were trying to hold on to their lead. Both sides were still willing to attack with Argentina desperately trying to drag themselves back into contention. At the 75th minute, they managed it. Caceres had a long range shot from way outside the Romanian box. The shot was saved by Prunea in the Romanian goal but he couldn’t hang on to it and Abel Balbo knocked the rebound into the net to make it 3-2.

Despite this goal, Romania were able to hang on and get a famous win. The Argentinian fans, in a show of class, applauded Hagi as he left the field at the 86th minute to be replaced by Galca. The game itself was played in a good spirit and the usual cheating and chicanery that you expect from Argentina was not on display. This may have been the most fun I’ve ever had watching Argentina play football. It was miles away from the horrid displays at Italia 90. That being said, playing exciting and relatively clean football against a talented Romanian side led to Argentina crashing out of the tournament. Maybe this is why Argentinians prefer to play dirty?
Overall, this match is not just the best match at USA 94 it may very well be one of the top 10 greatest matches in World Cup history. Unlike some other matches, this match stands on it’s excitement factor alone. There’s no grudge between the two sides or intense rivalry between the players. That being said, it’s captivating stuff and is a constant and dizzying exhibition of attacking football. It certainly helps that Romania get the early goal. This forces Argentina to chase the game and leaves them open to more counter attacks from the Romanian Mega Powers of Hagi and Dumitrescu. Hagi’s performance is excellent throughout as he is a constant threat and causes the Argentinians no end of bother. That being said, I’d go with Dumitrescu as the man of the match. He really had something to prove here and stepped up to the plate to deliver a cracking performance. 

Ortega would be the player who stood out most to me for Argentina. Filling Maradona’s shoes is not a task most men would inherit happily. In fact, pretty much every attacking chance that Argentina had involved Ortega in some form or another. Batistuta, despite winning the penalty, entered a below par performance up front. He really didn’t play up to his potential at all and really should have done better with some of his chances in the first half.

This match is certainly “must see”. If you’re never seen it before, it’s worth trying to hunt a copy down or watch the highlights in the youtube link below

Mike Watches A Movie: Angels and Demons

Angels and Demon’s Review

Please note that I’m going to spoil the plot here, so don’t read on if you care about that.

I’ve never read any of the Dan Brown books. “The Da Vinci Code” has been in my “to read” pile now for about 5 years and I just haven’t read it. There’s no real reason for this other than the fact that I’ve just had other books I’ve wanted to read. I’ve heard that some people love these books and I’ve also met people who give a hearty “harrumph” every time Brown’s books are mentioned. What may have swung me to not reading the books is that the Harrumphers (Which I think is a word I just made up) are usually people who’s opinions I trust, where as the people who loved the books are people who I usually disagree with on what constitutes “good”.

A while back I did actually see the TDC movie and my overall opinion of it was, meh. I didn’t think it was bad and there was some lovely camera work, but it just didn’t enthral me. Tom Hank’s was quite good as the lead character Prof. Langdon and Ian Mackellen did a decent job as the traditional eccentric British Old Man™ that has graced films for decades. It’s been a while since I watched the film, but at the time it just didn’t do it for me. I’d probably sit through it again but it would be if I was stuck in a hotel room on a Sunday afternoon and it just happened to be in the hotel’s DVD collection, you know?

I actually saw Angels and Demons before I saw TDC and, at the time, I kind of liked it. It didn’t rock my world or anything but I appreciated it. This is a movie I would actually choose to watch under less duress (Poet, didn’t know it)

We recently got a Blu Ray Player, so I’ve been picking up some Blu Ray’s that I thought would make the most of the set up. I’ve bought The Hobbit and Blade Runner, which are two films I have never seen and thought I’d try them out and I also picked up Angels and Demons off Amazon for £8. I ultimately plumped for this for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I hadn’t seen it in a while and wanted to see if I still liked it. Secondly, I recalled the movie having a lot of sumptuous shots of Rome and The Vatican, which would no doubt look nice in glorious HD. Thirdly; my mum likes Dan Brown and had never seen the film, so I imagined she’d like a chance to see it.

After watching it again, I still enjoyed it but on a second viewing there are a lot of things about the story that I don’t like, that I didn’t really notice the first time around. I should mention that there are two versions of the movie on the Blu Ray Disc. There’s the Theatrical version and the extended version. I watched the Theatrical version. There may be bits on the extended version that address some of my problems with the movies overall plot. I went with the Theatrical version though because this is the version most people would have seen and I also wanted a viewing experience that was true to the first time I saw the movie, so my eventual viewpoint would be balanced. If any big fans out there have seen the extended version and think there’s anything in it that counter acts any points I make in my review, go stuff yourself! I keed, I keed! Feel free to comment and I’ll take it on board.

To lay out the basic plot for you, the story begins with the much loved Pope dying of a stroke. The Cardinals are in the process of trying to elect a new Pope when disaster strikes, as the four leading Cardinals in the Papal Race are kidnapped. Enter our hero Professor Langdon, played by Tom Hanks playing Tom Hanks. He’s a bit tetchy with The Vatican as they won’t let him into their precious archives. He’s writing a career defining book but needs to view one of the texts that The Vatican have stored to complete it. However, he is invited to help with the search for the cardinals due to the possibility of The Illuminati being involved; a subject which he knows a lot about.

So far, so good. We are soon introduced to his sexy accomplice (I believe this is a common theme with Dan Brown books) who is played by Ayelet Zurer. She’s a researcher from the Hadron Collider in Cerne. Her research partner was killed and a tube of anti matter was stolen. To both our main characters horror, not only have the cardinals been cardinal-napped but the container holding the anti-matter is stashed away somewhere in The Vatican and will explode at Midnight! Cue running around Vatican City for 2 hours trying to find the cardinals and stop the bomb going off!

Now, as a plot, that’s quite good. The idea works quite well. Hanks enters a dry yet firm performance and the supporting cast who put this story together are equally strong. The problem with the plot is that it just tries to be too cute at times and really does shoe-horn a twist at the end, when a twist isn’t needed. The actual story of Hanks using his super special sign decoding abilities to try and locate the cardinals is a good one. What makes it even better is that they don’t turn Hanks into a completely infallible genius. Yes, he does eventually get the locations right but he’s usually always 1 or 2 steps behind the killer, so it’s normally too late to be much good. 

The first time he tries to find a Cardinal, he gets the location wrong, pretty much damning the poor man to death. The death scenes for the Cardinals are all well done and suitably gruesome. They are all branded with one of the four elements (Earth, Fire, Wind, Water) and then killed in relation to that theme. For example, Cardinal number one is branded with “Earth” and is then filled with soil. A horrid yet thematically pleasing death, I think we can all agree. In fact, all 3 of the first cardinals die, but every time Hanks gets a little bit closer to saving them until he finally gets it right on the fourth one. I like that a lot because the film makes Hanks earn his success. He has to work at it and fail a few times before finally succeeding on the last Cardinal. That bit of the plot gets thumbs up from me.

Sadly, the plot starts to get silly and convoluted at this point. It comes to light that The Pope was actually, *gasp*, murdered! E gads! This news leads the Pope’s aid, played by Ewan McGregor, to decide to clear out the whole of Vatican City until peace is restored. The Cardinals, led by Armin Mueller-Stahl, stubbornly refuse and also refuse to clear St Peter’s Square. This is one of the bits in the film that really costs it credibility. Mueller-Stahl’s main reason for not evacuating is, and I paraphrase here, “We’re all going to go to heaven anyway, so it doesn’t matter if we die”. What? Now I know that the higher ups in the Catholic Church have a reputation for being a bit odd sometimes, but there is no way that a leading Catholic Cardinal would condemn and entire square full of innocent Catholics to death in that manner. I’m all for suspending my disbelief and everything, but that’s a pretty big jump to take. I just don’t buy that Mueller-Stahl would be that cold, nor that extreme. This is The Vatican we’re talking about here, not Al-Qaeda.

Still, I can accept this for the sake of drama (There’s less at stake if there isn’t a square full of people who can die in a blazing inferno of death™ so I’ll be a bit lenient). Ewan McGregor has what I consider to be the best acting performance in the film. I really like his portrayal of the character, at least until the final act when it gets silly. For most of the film he plays a quiet and thoughtful character, whose only motivation is seemingly to stop everyone dying in a horrific explosion. It’s quite hard to dislike a character with that motivation to be fair. It’d be like disliking a character who wants to stop puppies being drowned or a character who wants to prevent the spread of AIDS by letting people wear condoms (SATIRE!)

Ewan is made to look like a dedicated Catholic and an all around good egg. We’re informed that he was orphaned at a young age and the Pope adopted him. It’s also revealed that he learnt to fly helicopters while undertaking his military service (Could this become important later? Hmmm, we’ll have to see). As you can imagine, this whole Pope dying thing has upset him a tad, and the fact there’s a bomb due to vaporise The Vatican and a large chunk of Rome as well, really has made this the wrong week for him to quit smoking.

The movie eventually introduces us to our lead villain who is an unnamed assassin played by Nikolaj Lie Kaas. There’s deliberate mystery behind the character and Kaas plays him with a cold detachment that makes him both un-nerving but also not that memorable. They immediately try to make you think he’s all mysterious and professional by showing him having money wired from whoever is hiring him to a super duper secret bank account, on the Isle of Man. Seriously? The Isle of Man? Since when did deadly assassins stop putting their blood money into Swiss banks? Has the credit crunch hit that hard that he had to get an account on the Isle of Man instead? I mean, at least give him an account in Monaco to give him a bit of Bondesque street cred.

So anyway, Kaas is alright as a villain and they try and give him a bit of character depth by insinuating that he only kills people he has been told to kill or people who are armed. This explains why he doesn’t just sneak up and shoot Tom Hanks in the head, which would be advisable considering the fact that he’s TRYING TO UNDO HIS EVIL PLANS! The assassin and Tom Hanks eventually have a big face off where the assassin simply tells him not to follow him, otherwise he’ll shoot him. Hanks doesn’t follow him, because his character isn’t an idiot, and the assassin lets him go and save Ewan McGregor from supposed danger. 

It should be noted that Hanks and Zurer run right past Kaas at one point on route to saving Macgregor and he doesn’t care. THIS ASSASSIN IS TERRIBLE AT HIS JOB. Tom Hanks had seen his face and could possibly identify him yet he still lets him run off to save the day. If I’d paid Kaas for this assassin job, I’d want my money back! It should also be noted that Kaas is sent an email telling him that a get away vehicle is waiting for him. Everyone and his brother can clearly see that this car is going to explode once he turns the key in the ignition and, low and behold, the car blows up. I mean, I was practically yelling at the TV at the assassin not to turn the car on and he still does it and it still blows him to smithereens. Good riddance to bad assassin is what I say. You wouldn’t catch Ezio Alditore falling for that one.

I do feel a little harsh on Kaas here as he does the best with the part that has been written for him. When his character is coldly killing people, he does have a genuine menace to his actions. Everything he does is both clinical and also exerts that kind of melancholic ease that only a cold blooded European Assassin can provide. It would have worked better if he was just a killer, killing people who got in his way, rather than trying to give him a warped sense of ethics. This sort of character doesn’t need that kind of development. He’s a hired gun, hired to do a job. He’s also got his own liberty to think of. If you were an assassin and someone was getting dangerously close to ruining your plans, you’d bump the guy off using your mad assassin skillz (the “z” makes it cooler) to ensure that he couldn’t, I don’t know, RUIN YOUR EVIL PLAN!

Now it already takes a leap to accept that they wouldn’t just empty the square when the bomb threat came through, and they had video proof of the bomb. Add to that the fact that the assassin is letting our protagonist live for no other reason that he doesn’t seem to care about doing his job properly, then the plot hole sharks are starting to circle this movies drowning narrative as it thrashes away in the story sea.

So anyway, I mentioned that Hanks and Zurer are rushing back to The Vatican to save McGregor from his impending doom. This doom is in the form of our other main character, head of the Swiss Guard and general old grumpy man in a suit, Commander Richter, played by Stellen Skarsgard. Skarsgard is openly hostile to Hanks from the minute he shows up and spends a large part of the film scoffing at his ideas. He’s your run of the mill sour authority figure, who spends the movie barking at anyone within a 1 mile radius.

As the movie progresses, it begins to tease is that Skarsgard may be our villain of the piece. It is revealed that Zurer’s research partner kept a journal. A very thorough one it would seem, so thorough in fact that it might hold clues to his murderer. Skarsgard steals the journal and locks it in his Bond Villain style drawer in desk (You know, one of those ones that slides out so it no longer looks like it’s actually part of the desk and also has a computer monitor in it). This prompts Zurer to ask “what are you hiding?” to which he replies “What are you hiding?”. Well, considering that she left the journals out in the open, in an unlocked drawer, I would say she was pretty much hiding nothing in that regard. She couldn’t have done a worse job of hiding those journals, if that was her plan.

Throughout the movie they continue to build drama between Skarsgard and McGregor’s character. McGregor eventually cracks and orders a full evacuation of the square, along with a helicopter for the Cardinals. Skarsgard countermands the order and then locks himself in the office with McGregor for some Good Ol’ Fashioned Swiss Guard Priest Killin’™ (Or so it would seem)

Hanks and Zurer get to The Vatican just in time to get the door to the office broken down. McGregor is on the floor, branded with the symbol of two keys in the shape of an X , while Skarsgard is standing above him with a gun. Naturally, the guards shoot and kill him instantly, rather than capturing and killing him. Another priest runs in and leaps across the room to strangle McGregor. Again, rather than pulling the priest off Macgregor and taking him away for questioning, the guards shoot him dead. But don’t worry friends; the nonsense has only just started!

Hanks, Zurer and McGregor find the bomb but there isn’t enough time to diffuse it. By this point the helicopter has landed outside The Vatican. Oh if only there was a priest somewhere in the vicinity to the bomb who knew how to fly a helicopter! Praise the Lord for Deus Ex Machina!

So yes, McGregor takes the bomb, flies the helicopter to a safe distance, and then parachutes to safety while the helicopter explodes in a brilliant show of light. The Vatican is saved and it looks like The Cardinals are going to vote McGregor in as Pope. But then the twist kicks in. Remember the Bond Villain desk? Skarsgard’s last act is to pass Hanks a mysterious key. This is, of course, the key to the Bond Desk. While Zurer fiddles with the desk to find the journals, the mysterious TV screen presents itself and wouldn’t you know it, the key Hanks has is for the TV screen. The TV screen has recorded what really happened in the office and, in a completely unnecessary storyline twist; it turns out that our lad Ewan was the bad guy all along! 

His reason for such villainy? He can’t bloody stand science that’s why! The scientists were experimenting in Cerne to try and create the “God Particle”. The Pope thought this was a good idea as it would scientifically prove that God existed. McGregor disagreed and murdered him, with the ultimate goal of a much stronger and anti science Pope like himself taking over. Hanks rats the now evil McGregor out to the Cardinals who sick The Swiss Guard on him. McGregor decides it would be a better idea to just kill himself and he does so in brutal fashion. The movie ends with the Cardinal who Hanks saved becoming Pope. Hanks, due to saving the Pope and all, is finally given the material he needs to finish his book, provided he agrees to leave it back to the Vatican in his will.

Angels and Demons is a film that I was enjoying just fine before the pointless twist at the end. Sure, there are quite a few plot holes in the story at times, but the film also kind of earns these plot holes because it needs them for the story to actually have something at stake. We need to have the square full of people because it puts more pressure on our heroes to save the day. The reasons why the people are in the square don’t really make sense and they really have to make The Cardinals look pretty cold and uncaring to pull it off, but you are prepared to let it go in order to progress the story.

All the Deus Ex Machina things make a bit more sense with the twist ending, which is one of the positives about it. The fact that the helicopter is there makes sense because McGregor orders it personally, which plays into his plans.

I honestly think that this movie would have been a better film if they had just had McGregor save the day and then perish in the helicopter. Everything else from that point could still happen. They could have still elected the surviving Cardinal as The Pope and Hanks could have still got his book. I actually like how the ending would be much more a downer too. The twist ending just has a forced feeling of triumph about it. 

The twist ending does tie up a number of loose ends and they do their best to make it fit the plot, but I just don’t buy it. At no point do we see if McGregor is doing this on his own or whether he has help. If he is doing it on his own, then I don’t believe he could, no matter how much I suspend my disbelief. If he has help, why don’t we explore that part of it more? Sure, he hires Kaas’s assassin, but does he put the bomb in Kaas’s car? Does McGregor’s character even have the knowledge to place a bomb in a car like that? Did he hire someone to do it? I actually think this is quite important. If you’re going to have a car bomb go off to conveniently kill a character you need out of the way for plot reasons, I think you need to earn it through a proper explanation. The writers here don’t earn it. They just say “oh there’s a bomb in the car” and leave it at that. Come on, you could at least have McGregor have a throw away line like “I’m not the only person to feel this way” to at least tease that he might have had some help at some point.

Surprisingly, despite complaining about this film for nearly 3,500 words. I do quite like it. I enjoyed watching it and, as mentioned before, I would watch it again. Rome and The Vatican look lovely in HD and the main characters hit most of the marks they’re supposed to. You could argue that some of the characters are a bit simplistic at times, but I actually don’t think that’s a problem. A character can have a simple motivation so long as they own it and aren’t afraid to chase it at every turn. The problems arise when you start trying to give a simple character extra depth when extra depth isn’t required. All of the characters in this film are better when they follow their basic principles and motivations. Kaas is best when he’s an assassin coldly killing people for a pay cheque, McGregor is best when he’s trying to keep people safe from the bomb and Skarsgard is best when he’s stomping around and sneering about how this poncy “sign reading” stuff is a load of old knackers. 

Up to the ending, this film was hovering around a 6.5/7.0 out of 10. However, the ending drags it all the way down to 5.0. I’m all for a twist now and then, but there has to be a reason for it. This film would have been much better with a straight regular ending. The twist is honestly there for the sake of having one. It doesn’t enrich the story or make it more enjoyable. It’s a forced “happy” ending when one just isn’t required.

Final Score 5 out of 10

Conclusion:
I’m not going to tell you not to see this film. If you’re prepared to accept what it is, you’ll be able to enjoy it. I’ll be honest and say I did enjoy it but that still doesn’t mean it’s a critical success. There are a number of movies that I enjoyed that completely fall down when you try to critically analyse them. The question is would you want to spend 2 hours of your life with these characters? At the end of the day, I answered yes. The movie will hold your attention. Its story flaws drag it down in my opinion, but they didn’t drive me to turn on the film entirely. While the flaws mean that this isn’t a good movie, they don’t make it without worth. Hence the rating being bang in the middle of the spectrum.

I hope you enjoyed this review. I apologise for the absurd length of it. This is the first time I’ve ever tried doing a film review. If I do anymore in the future, I’ll try and chop the length down. Please feel free to let me know what you didn’t like in this and offer some improvements.

If you’ve made it all the way here, thanks for reading!