(Dominik) Diamonds are Forever - Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 Review

I love the Call of Duty games. I know I shouldn’t. I know I should be appalled by the violence and the fact they take real life events and put them in game form. But I still love them because quite frankly they are some of the most intense video games I’ve ever played and the newest member of the family is just as much of a nutter as his previous brothers and sisters.

When I first joined the “Next Generation” of gaming one of the first games I bought was King Kong. It was a decent enough first person shooter but I never really loved it. I traded it in and got this other game called “Call of Duty 2” which I’d been told was really good. It was one of those World War 2 games that involved you running around and killing Nazi’s. Naturally that sounded appealing so I put the game in my console fully expecting to enjoy it. 4 days later I emerged from my living room after completing the game twice in a row and pretty much accepted that I’d played one of the best games ever.

CoD 2 would probably seem stupidly basic today but I back then I was enthralled. These days I still play it from time to time just because storming the beach on the D-Day landings is still an exciting and dramatic experience. That being said, I no longer think it’s the best game ever.

Modern Warfare 2 continues the legacy but this is CoD 2 on anabolic steroids. It’s bigger, brighter, has crazier weapons and generally just slaps you in the face while yelling “You like that? Well do you? BITCH!!!, I know you're having a good time!”.

And to be honest you’d be a fool not to. Now granted, Modern Warefare 2 has some flaws and it would be remiss not to mention them. One would be that the single player story mode isn’t exactly a Peter Jackson epic. I blew through it in about 2-3 days and I’m sure people who are actually good at video games smashed it in one afternoon. That being said, there wasn’t a single moment in those 2-3 days where I wasn’t on a constant thrill ride. And even though the single game is over rather quickly, the online modes more than make up for it. Honestly, if you take Modern Warefare 2 online then your life will start to evaporate.

Another flaw, to some certainly, would be THAT level. You know, the one in the airport. Yes, THAT one! Now I usually don’t get uncomfortable playing games but even I have to admit that this particular level in question is pretty messed up. If you haven’t played the game before you’ll be greeted with a message at the start of the game giving you the option to opt out of this level. For those who are easily offended, I would suggest you take the game up on its offer.

The level is a perfect example though of the games biggest flaw in my eyes. Sometimes it tries so hard to be shocking that it comes across as trying too hard. In the first Modern Warfare there was a level where your characters helicopter had been shot down in a nuclear blast. The level consisted of your character crawling around for a few minutes before dying. There was no way to save your character; he just died while you stood helpless. It was a shocking and very powerful moment. They do it again in Modern Warfare 2 but this time it involves your character being shot and then being set on fire while semi-conscious. This time rather than being a moving and poignant point it just becomes annoying. It worked so well last time that the developers clearly felt the need to do it again but this time it just doesn’t have the same feeling or appeal.

So, Modern Warfare 2 isn’t perfect. There are flaws to the single player mode and sometimes the game just comes across as being a bit tasteless. I’ve not even really got into the story but needless to say there are some great bits and some very shocking moments. That being said, I think there are almost too many twists and turns to the story. Modern Warfare felt a lot more focused, it had its eye on the prize so to speak. Modern Warfare 2 clearly feels it has to top the previous gaming experience and tries so hard that it becomes obvious that it’s trying. Kind of like how the second Matrix movie upped the explosions and car chases because it realised that it couldn’t really add any more to the message from the first film. Modern Warfare 2 adds more set pieces and weapons to try and make up for the fact that the story just isn’t as good.

Modern Warfare 2 strikes me as a game without a message. And actually I think this isn't too much of a problem. Far too may games try and have a message these days. It’s nice to play a game where the goal is to shoot as many bad guys as possible with as many cool weapons as possible. And as far as that goes, Modern Warfare 2 is a bona-fide classic. It has smooth gameplay, excellent graphics and a top notch online mode. If you have to buy a first person shooter for any console then I’d recommend this one.

Overall Score – 9.5

This and That with Mike Fitzgerald 14/06/2010 - This is a little bit bitter, be warned

I’m sure Julie Burchill the person is lovely. She’s no doubt an intelligent and perfectly likeable lass. But as a columnist and TV Presenter she gets right on my wick. She’s like a creature from Hell that is no longer merely happy living in the dark catacombs suckling on Satan’s teat. She instead wishes to rise up into the realm of the living, destroying all who get in her way.

I’ve had this rant in me for a while, tucked away at the back of my mind for future reference. However, it’s come charging to forefront of my consciousness again, thanks to The Independent. The Independent is my favourite paper and I buy it often. It’s a source of enjoyment in my usually dire existence. However, when I picked up my copy of The Independent today to be met with a massive headline reading “Julie Burchill’s new column”. Yeah it was right there on the front page, like it was a bloody selling point. Like we were all supposed to be delighted that we would now all be able to “enjoy” Burchill’s words and thoughts every week.

For the uninitiated with Julie, she’s a deeply unpleasant presence that seemingly hates everything, but not in a humorous way like Charlie Brooker. She’s like Brooker’s nemesis. Similarities are there. There’s the trademark bitterness and the fearless ability to attack all whom exist. The difference is that Charlie Brooker has charm and a general feeling of humour in his work. Burchill retains all of the bitterness with none of the humour. Have you seen Julie Burchill trying to be funny? Every time she writes something she considers witty, a Care Bear dies.

Her Wikipedia entry declares that she once referred to herself as a “militant feminist”. Now I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt her, seeing as Wikipedia isn’t exactly an expertly run database of fact. But if she did indeed say that then I can only roll my eyes. Anyone who refers to themselves as a “militant” anything deserves a right talking to. It’s just another way of saying you’re an unreasonable and vile piece of gob shite.

I first became aware of Burchill’s work years ago when she made a documentary looking at Chavs. The basic gist of the documentary was that Chavs were actually fine upstanding young folk who had been unfairly type cast by the middle classes in a wicked scheme to keep these good old “salt of the Earth” youngsters under the thumb. The documentary seemed to ignore the fact that there’s actually a fair amount of Middle Class tossers out there who could easily be described as being Chavs. I should know as I fucking went to school with some of them. Being a Chav and being Working Class are not mutually exclusive. I hated Burchill instantly.

The second documentary I saw by Burchill involved her looking at how Reality TV had affected British Society. The most sickening part of this documentary involved her presenting Jade Goody as a Working Class hero who made herself famous despite the fact that “Middle Class Snobs” had tried to hold her down. The documentary involved Burchill and Jade going to an “old fashioned west end pie shop” like they were Lenin and Trotsky drinking cheap Vodka in a run down Moscow bar discussing the rise of the communist nation.

Let’s just ignore the fact that Jade Goody was immensely annoying in Big Brother. And let’s also ignore the fact that the biggest detractor to old Jade was The Sun which is the paper in England most popular with the Working Classes. Let’s also ignore that in said newspaper, countless numbers of Working Class readers sent in letters agreeing with the columnists views that Jade was a generally annoying person. Let’s ignore ALL that and Julie Burchill may just have a point to make. Maybe.

Anyway, what was Burchill’s column about today? Her main point was that if you’re rich you can get away with being racist and offensive. It centred on Roman Polanski and Mel Gibson and how both of them had “gotten away” with their indiscretions thanks to money. Last time I checked, anyone with half a brain had pilloried Polanski and Gibson is pretty much an international laughing stock with anyone intelligent enough to spell “poo face”. This doesn’t stop Burchill kicking up a right fuss mind. Apparently it’s all a big conspiracy being led by the Middle Classes to crush this and that etc, etc, etc. I’d also be interested to see what Burchill thought about her best mate Jade being heinously racist to Shilpa Shetty on Celebrity Big Brother. Last time I checked, Jade wasn’t exactly living out of a dumpster at that point in her life.

Just to make it clear, I have nothing personal against Jade Goody. I just didn’t like the way she was used by Burchill to suit her own means.

Burchill also used the column to attack Frankie Boyle for telling offensive jokes. Last time I checked, Frankie Boyle’s whole shtick is that he tells incredibly offensive jokes for the simple that that they’re incredibly offensive. To take Frankie Boyle seriously is up there with thinking “Spinal Tap” is a real documentary or thinking that Terry Venables can sing.

Anyway, I’ve ranted enough. I don’t like Julie Burchill. Let’s leave it at that.

So, the World Cup is finally over and I know you all want to ask the same question. What channel did I watch the final on? The answer is BBC1 with CBBC commentary. Let me tell you, if you’ve had a hard day then there’s nothing better than watching an international sporting event commentated on by guys from Blue Peter. It was actually quite funny in places, although it got a little creepy with the hosts constant encouragement for the kids to “ask mum and dad if you can stay up just a little longer”. As much as I love Adrian Chiles, and that’s not a joke, I had to go with the BBC for the simple reason that adverts are the bane of my existence. That and I thought I’d justify my licence fee by watching the channel it actually pays for.

The main talking point from the final seems to be the SHOCKING actions of referee Howard Webb. Apparently, both Spain and Holland were angry that he gave out loads of yellow cards. Imagine that, a referee giving players yellow cards for yellow cardable offences! The SWINE!!!

As for Big Brother, all I can say is that I hope John-James and Josey get married and have lots of kids. They can get Ben in to baby sit sometimes. It’ll be excellent! Can you imagine Ben trying to cook tea for 7 hungry half Bristol, half Australian kids. There’s a sitcom there, I’m sure of it!

Oh and Corin has now replaced Cievarrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh, as my least favourite house mate. She just winds me up with her constant false enthusiasm. Let’s hope we don’t bump into each other in Stockport at some point.

See you on Friday when I review Modern Warfare II

This and That with Mike Fitzgerald 09/06/2010 - Diary of a Nobody should be enjoyed by everybody

First time I saw Hugh Bonneville it was in “Notting Hill”. You know, the film where most of the cast is impossibly British, except for the Welsh one and one of the Baldwin’s. Hugh was probably the most British of the British saps in the film. He also had great comic timing and was almost certainly the best thing about the dull sitcom “Courting Alex”. It was a very pleasant surprise for me then that I stumbled across Hugh in “Diary of a Nobody” (BBC 4)

“Diary of a Nobody” was originally a comic novel published in 1892 written by George Grossmith. The story follows the fictitious diaries of Charles Pooter. Pooter is a lower middle class bank clerk who takes himself far too seriously, often to hilarious consequences.

This adaptation is a one man show where Bonneville reads out the diary entries in soliloquy form. This has all the potential to be rather dull, but it really isn’t. For one, Bonneville is an excellent actor and plays the character with such conviction that you soon get hooked on the story. And there is a story here, a very well woven and interesting one.

The story mostly centres on Pooter trying to improve his status in society but there are numerous side plots, such as the considerable hassle his son Lupin causes him on a daily basis. All these characters feel remarkably fleshed out considering we never actually see them at any point. Bonneville has the ability to make the mundane sound interesting and make the interesting sound essential. He also has the ability to give you an accurate impression of a character without ever seeing them. I hate to use the term “tour de force” because it’s kind of been beaten into the ground but I can’t really think of a better way to describe Bonneville’s performance in this.

So what are the negatives? Well, for some the pace may be a little slow and some people won’t enjoy the “one man show” aspect. But overall I think if you give the show a chance you’ll enjoy it. Last I checked the show was still up on BBCi Player at this link http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/search/?q=diary%20of%20a%20nobody . Give it a try!

Fancy a Big Brother update? Well you’re getting one anyway so shoosh your noise and listen up! So Sunshine, the hippie who wouldn’t share her crisps, got voted out last weekend. I was actually a little bit upset, if only because she caused controversy amongst other members of the house. That and the hissy fit thrown by Shabbi when Cheiveaaarrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh got voted out would have made the episode with her hat look like a sneeze.

Oh yeah, Shabbi the lesbian who severely needs anger management. I watched the whole hat episode with a friend of mine who has the hots for Shabbi. Housemates were told they had to give something up to get tobacco. Big Brother wanted Shabbi’s hat. Shabbi wasn’t pleased about this and pretty much tore up an entire section of the house in frustration. During this crazy outburst and turned to my friend and asked “still want to hit that?”. I didn’t get a definitive answer.

I personally found the whole thing very entertaining so I’m quite dismayed that last nights episode seemed to suggest that Shabbi has left the house. Both her and Chievaarrrgggghhhhhhh went to the diary room and asked to leave in the morning after quiet girl Ife decided to not be so quiet any more and throw a hissy of her own. However, the “next time” feature at the end of the episode showed only Shabbi leaving. Could this mean more drama tonight? I bleedin’ hope so!

So yeah, I’m actually still quite into it. But, if all the most interesting people keep leaving or being voted out then I doubt I’ll stick around. If only Josie, Ife and Corin are left then I am outta there.

(Dominik) Diamonds are Forever - UFC Undisputed 2010 Review 02/07/2010

I used to love the show Games Master. I especially loved it's snarky host Dominik Diamond. Hence the name for my bi-weekly blog where I review video games.

The Ultimate Fighting Championship has quickly become the most recognizable organisation in the world of Mixed Martial Arts. There are numerous reasons for this. One would be that most of the top stars in the world of MMA have flocked to the noticeably green pastures of ZUFFA Land. Another would be that due to the sickeningly large amount of money that UFC makes each year it’s able to put on incredible production values that make X-Factor and Gladiators look like they’ve been put together in a mix master. Or maybe it’s the fact that UFC President Dana White swears on his video blog like a drunken Scotsman at a Christmas party?

Whatever the reasoning, fans of UFC will be pleased to know that the newest UFC video game contains all of these features (even if Dana’s language has been slightly toned down). All of your favourite UFC bone breakers are here from quick moving Anderson Silva, to the golem like BJ Penn and the terrifyingly massive Brock Lesnar. Not only are these fighters included but they also fight some what like their real selves. Silva darts around the Cage like a gazelle on Irn Bru 32, Penn tries to ground you and make you tap out and Lesnar mauls you like a grizzly dragging his prey into his cave for winter.

In addition the glitzy production of the UFC Events is recreated. In the previous game, fighters would just sort of appear in the cage and the fight would begin. Sadly, 2010 still hasn’t added fighter entrances but graphics and music really add to the presentation and make you feel like you’re watching an actual UFC Event.

There in may lay the problem. THQ have done a very good job of making the game “feel” more like the UFC and have added little extra nuggets like online camps and “Event Mode” to keep UFC fans happy for longer. But what about the casual fans? What about people who are into the Smackdown and Street Fighter titles and just want to beat the piss out of somebody? Will they be satisfied with the game engine?

Yes and no. The fact is that Undisputed isn’t exactly pick up and play. If you play the game on anything but the lowest the setting and don’t have a good grasp of the controls then you’ll soon be beaten into a miserable quivering pulp. If you have never seen a UFC Fight before then you’ll probably charge in swinging your fists only to be taken down and humped to death by a massive 250 Pound beast of a man. Unpleasant, I think you’ll agree. Thankfully the game does have a rather nifty tutorial mode that will give you a grasp of the basics.

If you dedicate time to learning the controls you’ll soon be massacring the computer on the patronising “beginner” difficulty level. However, after “beginner” is “experienced” and the change is rather vast, especially for a new comer to the franchise. However, the game will reward you for your persistence but only if you’re prepared to lose a lot on the higher difficulty levels. Overall, the game will only appeal to you if you have any sort of interest in UFC or MMA. For those who want a quick brawl then Street Fighter is a much better choice.

Ultimately, Undisputed is a game for the UFC Fan. It doesn’t have the wacky arcade feel of THQ’s other punch up titles like WWE Smackdown. It’s a good game and clearly a lot of love has been put into it. The creators are obviously fans of the sport and have worked very hard to create an accurate recreation of their passion. But in the end the game play isn’t fun unless you actually like watching UFC. Most likely, if you don’t like UFC or understand it then every fight will end up being a kick boxing battle because taking it down to the ground will feel weird and, admittedly, a bit boring. Basically, you’ll be swinging for the fences looking for a spectacular knock out which will be fun the first 10 times but afterwards the original thrill will dissipate and you’ll realise that, for you, the gaming experience has peaked.

Overall Score – 7.5

If you’re a UFC Fan, this game is an easy 9 and definitely worth adding to your collection. If you’re a casual fan who doesn’t know much about UFC then it’s about a 6 so let’s go in the middle for the overall rating.

This and That with Mike Fitzgerald 29/06/2010 - Lee Nelson is QUALITeeeeeeeeeeeee

“Lee Nelsons - Well Good Show” is currently half way through it’s first series on BBC 3 and thus far has provided a mixture of witty humour, good natured banter and also some mean spirited attacks on helpless audience members. Overall, I’ve been enjoying it.

Written and performed by Simon Brodkin, the format for “Well Good Show” flips between an in-studio setting where Brodkin, under the guise of Genteel Chav “Lee Nelson”, berates the audience and his fat mate omelette. There are also cut away sketches featuring Brodkin’s other characters such as idiot footballer Jason Bent, clumsy physician Dr. Bob and a bizarre panel show where students act like berks.

Of them all the Lee Nelson parts in the studio are by far the funniest as Nelson walks around the audience insulting them and getting them to do embarrassing things, ala Graham Norton. Nelson’s character is that of your typical chav except that he is actually quite friendly. His shtick usually involves him walking around the audience and picking on those who look a little bit funny. That all sounds rather uncomfortable but actually it isn’t. Nelson’s attacks are usually always good natured and usually always involve him hugging the intended victim at the end declaring that they are a “ledgend” and encouraging the rest of the audience to give them a warm round of applause. It’s all quite pleasant actually.

Overall the show has genuine warmth to it which I really wasn’t expecting when I first tuned in. In addition to chopping his audience down with insults, Nelson will occasionally force them to play a ridiculous game for an equally ridiculous prize. In the second episode he deliberately tries to find “the oldest looking geezer” in the crowd to play a guessing game. The guessing game involves looking at a certain person in a bed and guessing how many people they’ve slept with. For guessing correctly the gentlemen’s prizes involve a brand new walker and a new pair of slippers. What, in the hands of others, would be mean spirited TV death is actually quite funny here, again mostly due to Nelson and is excellent delivery. Despite the silly subject matter, everyone seems to have a good time and no ones feelings are too badly hurt, to which I say hurrah!

The cut away sketches are a little weak though, especially Dr. Bob which is basically Borat if he was a crappy doctor. It does have it’s moments but really feels like it lacks originality. The Jason Bent sketches are okay and actually have some funny lines but it doesn’t really compare to the hilarity of the Nelson sections. And the student panel show, named “Buzz Box” just feels lazy. People hate students, we get it. Every comedian and comic writer has spent the last 50 years beating that punch line into the ground and Brodkin does nothing new. It basically all boils down to Brodkin hosting a chat show about Africa, which he describes as “truly stunning, especially if you ignore the shitty bits” and then a bunch of supposed students talking about “how much I LOVE Africa, yeah?” while a genuine African sits around looking embarrassed. Maybe it’s just me but I honestly think the whole sketch lacks imagination. That being said, it shouldn’t discourage you from giving the show a go.

“Lee Nelson’s – Well Good Show” is definitely worth a look. It’s not only funny but surprisingly good natured. If you want to give it a try then click the link http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00swg83/Lee_Nelsons_Well_Good_Show_Episode_3/

In other news, Big Brother is back and it’s actually not too bad. I really liked the first three BB’s but kind of stopped caring around the time the transvestite won. Nothing against him/her, the show had just lost its appeal for me around that time. I would tune in now and then on recent series but my interest would usually fade after a couple of weeks. I decided to give this one a go mainly because other people had told me it was pretty good. After watching a few episodes I like it enough that I’m going to stick with it for now.

Despite some slight changes to the presentation the show is pretty much the same as it’s always been. Mundane and stupid things always blow out of proportion and eventually everyone joins a clique of some kind leading to even more stupid blow ups. The most recent episode I watched involved house mates ganging up on “Sunshine” (This years token hippie) because she’d got some crisps and hadn’t shared them yet. Her argument was that she wanted to save them for a crisp sandwich. Their argument was that they were “starving” because they’d hate to eat rice and lentils for two days. TWO DAYS!!! How DARE the hippie chick let them starve! Rather than pick a side I chose to be annoyed by everyone involved, especially the sickly looking Chievaagjjahjhjsahjhjah (I can’t spell it, she’s Irish anyway). She is certainly my least favourite at this point. She’s rude, bitchy and generally just unlikeable. I’m sure everyone else likes her.

Which housemates do I like? Steve, the man with no legs, is probably my favourite at the moment due to the fact he’s just happy to be there and wants to get on with everyone. Go him say I. incredibly posh Ben is another one of my favourites, mostly because I find him so preposterous. I bet he says preposterous a lot. It’s a good wooden word. It gives him confidence. Shabbi is another one of my favourites mainly because she’s always mouthing off and keeping things interesting. Go her. Everyone else I’m mostly indifferent to. I’m not sure whether to like or dislike good looking Aussie, John James. He doesn’t seem that bad of a person but he’s clearly coasting on the fact that he’s both good looking and Australian. When it came to him washing clothes he was completely clueless. He just stood there saying “what do I do?” while looking rather shy, just completely melting the girls hearts in the process. If I did that I’d be sneered out of the room. He does it and suddenly all the girls think he’s adorable. The swine.

HELLO!!!

Hi guys. I'm Mikey Fitzgerald and this is my blog!

I'm going to seperate the blog into 2 different parts. "This and That" will be my main column whereby every Tuesday I'll post a review of a TV show/book/just give my general ramblings. Every other Friday I'll post a game review called "(Dominik) Diamonds are Forever)

There may be extra columns if I get the urge.

Enjoy!